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Anonymous Allisyn wrote:

Hello,

This web site has been a blessing to me in my path back to the Church.

I was born and brought up with twelve years of Catholic Education. I pulled away after high school. My husband of 9 years is Protestant. We are in the midst of heated debates about how to raise our four and two-year old children. He is very resentful of the fact that he cannot receive Communion in my Church. He has a deep faith in Christ and feels it is a moment shared between him and his Christ. He feels judged by the Church when they do not accept or recognize his communion.

I have tried my best to explain the Catholic perspective, in that the unleavened host substantially becomes Christ and, as Catholics, we must go through a preparation process in order to receive the Body of Christ. I feel we are being spiritually attacked through these dividing discussions about how to raise our children. He has a lot of very negative stereotypes about the Church, like the priest just being a man.  I need so much help in this effort.

If you could give me a reasonable explanation to the question why he cannot receive Holy Communion in our Church, I would greatly appreciate it.

Thank you again and please pray for our family.

Allisyn

  { Why can't my Protestant husband receive Holy Communion in my Catholic Church? }

Mike replied:

Hi Allisyn,

Thanks for your question.

Let me reply by addressing several issues in your e-mail:

In many Protestant denominations, unity is something that is worked toward, along the lines of Christ's priestly prayer for unity in John 21:15-17. This is good. Many Protestant denominations disagree among themselves. Probably the only thing they agree on is that Jesus did not establish One, Visible Church that stands to this day, (the Catholic Church).

Your husband not being able to receive Holy Communion: Faith and Holy Communion.

Because the Catholic Church is One in (doctrines|teachings), unity is not something we have to strive toward; unity is something that is required up front. We are a Family of Divine Faith in Jesus, not of individual faiths. Not only on one or two issues but on all the teachings Jesus wants us to believe in.

I don't understand why he feels judged by a Church seeing he is a Protestant and not a visible member of the Church. If he truly believes what we believe about the Eucharist and Holy Communion then the Spirit is probably calling him into the Church.

That said, very few Catholics, who went through RCIAwere ever taught that:

When we receive the Eucharist every Sunday we are publicly proclaiming that we are in a Common Union with the Teachings of the Catholic Church.

I was certainly never taught this but it is true, and . . . those that are not in a Common Union and still receiving Communion will have to answer for their actions based on what they knew and did not know at the time.

  • If he disagrees with the Church's teachings, how can he be in a Common Union with the Church?
    <He can't!>

  • That said, are there teachings that we find hard to accept or understand?

    Sure! but as long as we accept them while trying to understand the Teaching, this is fine!

He is correct that we do not recognize other Protestant communions, except the Greek Orthodox and others who broke with the Church before the Reformation.

  • Why?

Because one of the sad outcomes of the Reformation was that King Henry VIII changed the rites for Holy Orders (actually it was Thomas Cranmer). This is the sacrament in the Catholic Church that makes priests, priests. Because the rite of priests in other Protestant denominations is non-sacrificial and therefore invalid, a Protestant minister can try to consecrate the Eucharist as much as he wants, but to no avail. It remains a wafer in substance as well as in appearance.

RE: Helping your husband.

One blessing is that you have a Christian husband.

Because your husband is a Bible Christian, one thing both of you should agree on, is a daily period of prayer together, for the good of your marital relationship and your family. If he is open to saying the Rosary, I would recommend this.

Remind him, Catholics don't worship Our Blessed Mother. We only honor those God honors.

Yes, the Rosary was given to us by Mary but overall the Rosary is about the Scriptural events that happened in the lives of Jesus, Mary, Joseph and other people that surrounded their holy lives; lives dedicated to our salvation!

For you personally, make sure that even if you and your husband can't pray on a regular basis you:

  • pray daily and
  • stay close to the sacraments, esp. regular Confession, daily Mass, the Rosary and Adoration.

RE: His negative stereotypes about the Church.

I once heard either a revert or convert to the Church say the three main reasons why non-Catholics don't understand the Church are:

  • ignorance
  • personal bias, and
  • bad examples

I can't read your husband's heart but he is going to have to ponder whether he has fallen into any of these three areas. Let me address each:

  1. Ignorance — He can eliminate this if he wants. Just tell him to consider buying a cheap copy of the Catechism of the Catholic Church.

  2. Personal bias — only personal prayer can help this. With time hopefully he will be able to be received in the Church and go to Confession.

  3. Bad examples — This is a problem within our Church, but I would share with him,

    "Don't leave Peter because of Judas behavior!"

On his journey:

  • Has he looked into the history of the Catholic Church?
  • Has he looked into the very first Christians, called the Early Church Fathers, who lived from 33 A.D. to 850 A.D.?

Good sources would include the writings of:

  • St. Ignatius of Antioch
  • St. Clement of Rome
  • St. Cyprian of Carthage
  • Tertullian
  • Origen
  • St. Polycarp
  • St. Irenæus
  • St. Pacian of Barcelona
  • St. Augustine
  • St. Jerome and many, many more that I have not listed here.

A FREE source you could use that have many of these writings can be found on New Advent website. Try these solid resources too:

If he doesn't buy or believe in Catholic sources, fine. 

Tell him to go to any local library and look up the same quotes there : ) !

Hope this helps; if you need more, just reply.

I will pray for your family and please tell your husband to visit our site and ask more questions if he wants.

Mike

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