Dear Eileen,

Adultery is a serious sin and jeopardizing the married life of any couple is serious.
Nevertheless, we are not priests.

I would recommend you make an appointment with a Catholic priest who is local to where you live for spiritual guidance.

God forgives our sins, but we have to be truly repentant.

Don't worry about what others think; both of you should receive spiritual guidance from a priest.

Mike

Dear Eileen,

Look at the priest as your friend and helper. One thing we cannot do in prayer is receive the grace of the sacraments. You should ask him to hear your Confession.

If you don't know how to do this, ask for his help. Receiving the sacrament of Confession will help you not to commit similar sins in the future. You should mention all major and minor sins to the best of your knowledge and afterward always remember to make your Sunday obligation, while developing some type of daily prayer life, like praying the Rosary.

If one is truly repentant, one promises not to commit the sin again.

I hope this helps,

Mike

Eileen —

To be repentant of your sins, you must have a change of mind and reverse your steps, so to speak. That is, you have to recognize and acknowledge to God that what you've done is wrong, and go in the opposite direction. Essential for this, is resolving not to do the sin again in the future, although you also have to recognize that you are weak and are subject to fail again — the key being, you will strive not to do it. In colloquial language, you turn over a new leaf. This is sometimes called a "firm purpose for amendment".

Sorrow for what you've done is an important component, but sorrow for being caught or discovered is insufficient. At the very least, you should be sorry in light of the eternal consequences, but ultimately you want to feel sorrow because you love God and want to do His will. We call this sorrow out of love for God "perfect contrition" while sorrow for sin is called "contrition"; and a prayer expressing sorrow for sin and repentance is called an "act of contrition", or, if you prefer, feel sorry because you have offended God, although I prefer to look at it in terms of loving God.

If you did something really rotten to your spouse or your best friend, you'd feel bad because of your love for them; the same should be true with God. If your love for God is not strong, strengthen and cultivate it.

God's grace is an essential component of this. We can do nothing without God's grace. Ask for it. Ask for his strength to live out the Gospel and do His will. Re-orient your life in this way; decide to live out the Gospel from now on and do Christ's will. Turn your whole life and everything you do from now on, over to Christ, and He will transform you into His image, bring you joy and peace, and lead you to salvation.

Eric