Dear Lawrence,
She should not attend the wedding especially since it is a violation of her conscience, and it condones the illicit marriage (which is no marriage at all).
Her husband should respect his wife and support her, but he apparently is not. In this case, she should get together with her husband and their pastor at their parish and talk it out. She needs someone to help her husband see that attendance at the ceremony is becoming a witness to the event, thus condoning it. If all reason should fail, they may have some middle ground in that they avoid the ceremony and only attend the reception, to avoid being witnesses to the event, but still show caring for the individuals — but that still is walking the edge.
Welcome to the culture we live in and the difficulties it imposes. The ancient Christians faced trials like this when their popular culture supported all kinds of illicit behavior and they often paid for it with their own blood.
Consider the power of their witness, however, and how the world was changed because of it. When Christians stand up, even when it costs them, the world takes notice, and may even change, though not without great trial. Consider reading Matthew 10:34-37 and the price Jesus places on putting even family before Him.
Peace,
Bob Kirby
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