Dear Jasmine —

First Communion is only the first, of a life in communion with God, who loves us.

It was never intended to be a check on the to do list of being Catholic. I'm sorry that no one knew enough or cared enough about the faith to share it with you in such a manner that you would understand and desire this Sacrament in a way that would give it real meaning to your life.

Try this: Imagine Jesus Christ, the One that billions of people over the centuries have given their lives for, who is really God Himself, became one of us, and that One and only Person, wants to be intimate with you. He wants to get so close to you that your soul and His are completely touching — like two lovers laying in each other's arms — but without the bodies, if that makes sense.

Communion is a mystical experience that defies our senses but truly happens. The Host is not a symbol of Christ but is really Him.

Find a Bible in your home or go on-line if you have to. Read John's Gospel, Chapter 6, and see Jesus freak everyone out when He starts talking about people eating His Flesh. He never softens the graphic portrayal of this but seeks to stun His audience: because the Eucharist is stunning.

If we really knew what we were getting, we would never want to stop, but our eyes can't see.
We must rely on our faith.

So my advice to you is this:

If you want to be a Catholic, then live as one. Discover your faith, then you may marry in the Church and your marriage will be truly blessed.

Peace,

Bob Kirby