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Andrea,
Thank you for your can do and earnestly in addressing this fragile situation.
My gut reaction right out of the box is stop the wedding, or at the very least, put it off until such a time as all issues are worked out. Right now disaster looms. Three weeks is just adding pressure and may cloud both of your's best judgement.
Your boyfriend has to come to grips with his own decisions about having a Catholic family or not. Besides the risk of alienation from his family, there is the greater risk that you are not on the same page about raising children, which for Catholics, is probably the primary function of the institution of Marriage. Fertility is not always static, and adoption allows for parenting when natural conception is not possible. That has been the case in my family.
Marriage is something that transcends a contractual agreement, love, feelings, companionship, sex, and economic stability, and it must have a unified purpose. So whether you are Catholic or an atheist, if you are not aligned in your fundamental conceptualization or purpose for Marriage, you will eventually fail. If he wants to be Catholic he cannot marry without openness to children and the obligation to raise them as such. From what you said, you are not aligned in this. You are right to see a red flag.
More soul searching is warranted. I know you don't believe but I'll pray for you both anyway.
Hit the brakes and maybe call it off permanently if there in an impasse.
Peace,
Bob Kirby
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