Hi, guys —
I apologize in advance for such a long question. I wanted to give as much background to the question as I am in a tough situation.
Our son is being baptized into the Catholic faith next month. Before he was born, my husband and I discussed the selection of godparents. We are both practicing Catholics and we agreed that it was important that our son's godparents also be practicing Catholics and have a strong faith so that they can be there to guide and answer any questions that our son might have as he grows up.
We both have siblings that are baptized Catholic but are no longer religious or have a strong belief. So we agreed upon asking a lady we have got to know well over the last year who is very connected with the church to be godmother and decided not to have a godfather.
The other night, my husband's father called and said that my husband's brother has been saying that he really hopes that he gets asked to be a godfather and he started to put pressure on my husband to ask him. My husband and I discussed it and it turned into an argument because I don't feel right asking him to by godfather as he doesn't want to have anything to do with the Catholic faith but has not yet denounced himself as Catholic (not to mention I don't find him to be a good role model for our son). At our wedding, he refused to do a reading in the Church because he said he doesn't agree with the teachings. And as mentioned before, I wanted to make sure our son had a godparent that would guide him. I also feel it would be wrong towards my siblings and my husband's sister too as we didn't consider them for the same reason.
Also, from what was mentioned in the conversation, my husband's family (who aren't religious) seem to think the role of a godparent is someone who takes in the child if anything happened to us as parents. My brother-in-law is also going through a bit of a hard time at the moment, and it seems like his partner doesn't ever want to have children with him, so my husband feels compelled to ask him. I told my husband that I am very reluctant to ask him as I would like to stick by our agreement that we want someone to guide our son. So in the end, my husband wasn't happy with the decision but said he would call his dad and tell him. It has been a couple of days now but he hasn't spoken to his dad about it.
- Am I being unreasonable by not wanting to ask him to be the godfather?
- How/what do we tell my husband's dad the reason why we aren't asking him to make him understand how we (mainly myself) feel?
- How do I broach the topic with my husband again?
- Do I just cave in and ask him to be the godfather (even though I know this is a decision that I will forever not be happy about)?
Thank you in advance for your advice.
It is greatly appreciated.
God bless.
Cara
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