Hi, Deborah —

This is always a very difficult topic. Ultimately, the pastor needs to set the dress code and he should do it tactfully from the pulpit, explaining why we do it — to show reverence and respect for God. You either need to have a good rapport with the kids or have a context from which to share (i.e. RCIA class). In that kind of a setting, a conversation can be had where the values can be openly discussed . . . even getting the kids to enlist themselves. The trouble is the poor modeling from adults — it can sabotage your efforts.

If you are moved to do so, talk to your priest about it and see if he would be willing to do so.

The Facebook (stuff/rules) are obviously not the purvey of the Church, although the values of modesty are. Still, within a relationship or appropriate context, that conversation should take place.

If you were to approach these kids directly without having won their respect and love it will backfire so work on developing those connections first.

Peace,

Bob Kirby