Dear Miguel,
Thanks for the question.
You are not alone. This is a struggle common to most males at one point or another, and biology does play into it.
Just like women have a menstrual cycle which changes their hormones throughout its course, men too have different hormonal patterns and thereby, at different times, increased sperm production. Just as when your bladder is full you want to relieve yourself, there is a sexual corollary as well. High sperm count will increase sexual libido.
- So what can you do with this information?
- First, know you aren't crazy and it's not all about lust.
- Second, you can make this easier by coaching yourself effectively, and know that there are ways to lessen the struggle, or make it worse . . . and prayer is vital of course.
By avoiding porn and other sexually triggering material you are already doing the first step.
Second, know that your body will develop its own habits so, if you feed the sexual build up by masturbating, you are in effect training your body into knowing it can have a release every time it builds to a certain point. So set a goal to monitor your craving and push through it without giving in. Then see how your body responds. You may have a wet dream, or a non-orgasm related ejaculation of excess sperm during a urination (generally at the end of peeing, though this may not happen until weeks have passed your craving).
Your body will learn that (if it is not getting a sexual release) it will either reabsorb sperm or eliminate it as necessary to achieve balance, and the libido will level out as well. The end result is that by not giving in, your urges will diminish and you will be able to get on with life without feeling like a slave to this. The habit will be broken.
When your resistance to the urges feel weak, that is when you need to call on God's help. Pray your Rosary (everyday is best), go to Confession regularly, and go to Mass — on a weekday even — especially when you feel particularly weak. It is like going to the spiritual gym and getting a workout — you get stronger. The temptations grow weaker.
Lastly, if you feel like you are failing, don't quit. Be patient with yourself. Victory comes to those who persevere. You can always get an accountability buddy and, if they are warranted, use other resources, but I know many who have found freedom by just following some of these simple steps.
Peace and I'll keep you in my prayers.
Bob Kirby
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