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I am a relatively young Catholic male (32). I come from
a conservative Catholic family and have been dating a girl
for 2.5 years. She was raised as a Jehovah's Witness, for
most of her life, but does not follow the faith regularly
anymore. She was also married in that faith about 12 years
ago but was divorced several years later. I really like
this girl but am concerned about the following issues and
could use your guidance.
It is the wish of my family that I marry within the
Catholic Church.
Is there anything about this scenario that would prevent
that from happening?
Would the Catholic Church frown upon or not allow certain
aspects of the Mass to occur because of her past?
If she chose, would she be eligible to join the Catholic faith at
some point in the future?
My decisions in regards to moving forward with our relationship
hinge largely on the ability to have a Catholic wedding
and her being accepted in the Catholic Church (figuratively
and literally), so your sincere reply is appreciated.
Thanks,
Thomas
{
Can
I marry a lapsed Jehovah's Witness in the Church with
Her blessings? }
John
replied:
Hi Thomas,
For you to marry this girl, you'd need to get a dispensation
from the Church.
There are some things to keep in mind. Marrying this
girl is not like marrying another Christian. Jehovah's
Witness are not Christians. The sociology and theology
of the group is cultic, so this isn't like marrying:
a Baptist
a Lutheran
a Pentecostal
etc., etc.
Jehovah's Witnesses deny the Divinity of Christ
and the Trinity. By definition, they are, therefore,
not Christians.
You have to consider how these differences in belief
will effect your entire life together.
Will she agree to have children that follow the
Church's Teaching on matters of faith?
Will she agree to allowing all the children to
be brought up as Catholics?
(as the Church requires) and
Does she understand that the nature of Sacramental
Marriage cannot be dissolved?
Then, there is the matter of her previous marriage
to resolve.
I'm not sure if the Church would require an annulment
given the circumstance of that marriage. (I'm
not sure if the prior husband was a Christian or
a Jehovah's Witnesses. Therefore, we don't know if
this was a marriage between two non-Christians done
in a non-Christian Church).
The good news is that she, like anyone else, is welcome
in the Catholic Church. That would probably be the
ideal solution, were she truly interested in becoming
a Christian first of all, and then, much more, to
enter the fullness of the Christian faith found in
the Catholic Church.
If that is a possibility, it's an avenue I'd pursue.
If she's willing to at least start seeking or
looking into what the Church teaches then you should
both seek out a good RCIA program you can attend
together. You don't need to attend, but it would
be beneficial for you to revisit what the Church
teaches.
I hope this helps,
John D.
Mike
replied:
Hi Thomas,
I just wanted to add to my colleague's fine remarks.
You are indeed blessed to have a family that wants
you to marry within the Catholic Church.
How does a Catholic marriage differ from other marriages?
What I have told my niece and nephew, ages 5 to
18, is when two baptized Catholics marry in the Church,
what the Church provides, if the proper intent
and disposition of both parties is present, is
the krazy glue that bonds their marriage for
life.
The one
with the construction worker suspended in mid air
while grasping his construction helmet, which in
turn, is bonded with Krazy Glue to a thick
wooden beam.
The sacramental grace from a Catholic marriage is
the Krazy Glue that bonds the couple for life. When
combined with weekly reception of the Eucharist in
a state of grace (regular Confession
recommended),
the couple is given the extra grace to keep the marriage together, when today, sadly, others are collapsing.
This is a good reason for couples to consider becoming
Catholic.
As John mentioned in his last paragraph, I would
encourage you and your girl friend to look into the
Church and Her Teachings. She wouldn't be making any commitment; she would
just be discovering what the Catholic Faith really
teachings.
Archbishop Fulton Sheen said,
"There are not 100 people in America that
hate the Catholic Church, but millions upon millions
who hate "what they think" is the Catholic
Church."
1633 In many countries the situation of a mixed marriage (marriage between a Catholic and a baptized non-Catholic) often arises. It requires particular attention on the part of couples and their pastors.
A case of marriage with disparity of cult (between a Catholic and a non-baptized person) requires even greater circumspection.
1634 Difference of confession between the spouses does not constitute an insurmountable obstacle for marriage, when they succeed in placing in common what they have received from their respective communities, and learn from each other the way in which each lives in fidelity to Christ. But the difficulties of mixed marriages must not be underestimated. They arise from the fact that the separation of Christians has not yet been overcome. The spouses risk experiencing the tragedy of Christian disunity even in the heart of their own home. Disparity of cult can further aggravate these difficulties. Differences about faith and the very notion of marriage, but also different religious mentalities, can become sources of tension in marriage, especially as regards the education of children. The temptation to religious indifference can then arise.
1635 According to the law in force in the Latin Church, a mixed marriage needs for liceity the express permission of ecclesiastical authority.
In case of disparity of cult an express dispensation from this impediment is required for the validity of the marriage. (cf. Code of Canon Law, canon 1124, 1086) This permission or dispensation presupposes that both parties know and do not exclude the essential ends and properties of marriage; and furthermore that the Catholic party confirms the obligations, which have been made known to the non-Catholic party, of preserving his or her own faith and ensuring the baptism and education of the children in the Catholic Church. (cf. Code of Canon Law, canon 1125)
1636 Through ecumenical dialogue Christian communities in many regions have been able to put into effect a common pastoral practice for mixed marriages. Its task is to help such couples live out their particular situation in the light of faith, overcome the tensions between the couple's obligations to each other and towards their ecclesial communities, and encourage the flowering of what is common to them in faith and respect for what separates them.
1637 In marriages with disparity of cult the Catholic spouse has a particular task: "For the unbelieving husband is consecrated through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is consecrated through her husband." (1 Corinthians 7:14) It is a great joy for the Christian spouse and for the Church if this "consecration" should lead to the free conversion of the other spouse to the Christian faith. (cf. 1 Corinthians 7:16) Sincere married love, the humble and patient practice of the family virtues, and perseverance in prayer can prepare the non-believing spouse to accept the grace of conversion.
Hope this helps,
Mike
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