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Patrick
wrote:
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Hi, guys —
My wife, sadly, has left the Church for the
American Baptist denomination. It nearly broke
up our marriage, as I am very committed to
the Catholic faith.
- How do I answer the very difficult charge
that the average Catholic does not bear
any fruit, especially since Jesus said
about his true followers you will
know them by their fruits. (Matthew 7:16)?
She has gone to where (she thinks) people
are Godly and really live the
Christian faith.
No doubt, this is true of many Catholics.
Unfortunately, this puts me, and most of my
family, as well as her family, in the category
of un-godly. She seems immune to
any arguments about what true doctrine is,
dismissing things of a doctrinal nature as
unnecessary compared to a simple faith in
Jesus. She would claim that people like Mother
Teresa, St. Francis, etc., were good despite,
not because of their faith. How lovingly and
morally I conduct myself and bear good fruit
in my own life doesn't seem to matter to her.
Going to Mass every Sunday by myself and knowing
what is lost in our marriage by being on these
separate paths of faith is, at times, incredibly
disappointing and frustrating.
- Do you have any advice beyond praying?
I have to admit, as this goes on and on,
I'm becoming more despondent and sad. Part
of me wants to win her back to the faith,
and another part wants to just shake
the dust and stop trying to cast pearls
before swine.
I know I need to endure with
patience, but it is incredibly hard sometimes.
Patrick
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Seeing she left the Church, do you have advice on how to get my wife back from the
Baptist faith? }
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Eric
replied:
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Hi, Pat —
Two suggestions.
One, you judge a medicine by those
who take it, not by those who don't.
Your average Catholic doesn't actually
live out Catholicism (not today,
anyway). Baptists who cease to practice
the faith cease to identify as Baptists
and drop out entirely, but Catholics
who stop practicing the faith continue
to identify as Catholics and often
continue going to Church. (Whether
this is a bad thing is a matter of
debate.) The point is, make a judgment
based on Catholics who truly live
the faith, not those who don't.
Second, point out the lives of the
saints. She dismissed Blessed Teresa
of Calcutta and St. Francis but zero
in on these people.
- Were they really
holy despite their
faith?
- Did they not live out the
Catholic faith?
- What is it that they supposedly,
did right, that
was not consistent with Catholicism?
- What is it that
they supposedly, correctly didn't
do, that is consistent with Catholicism?
- Why do we extol
their heroic faith if they are
such counter-examples of good
Catholicism?
Finally, ask
her to produce a Baptist as holy
and remarkable as Blessed Teresa
and St. Francis.
- How about a miracle
worker who could bilocate like
St. Pio?
- How about someone who
could fly (well, levitate) like
St. Joseph of Cupertino?
- How about
someone who could read souls (know
someone's secret sins) like St.
John Vianney or St. Pio?
- What
about someone whose dead body
looks like it did when he or she
died, still soft,
over a hundred
years later?
(St. Bernadette,
St. Charbel)
10 You will not let
your holy one see decay (Psalm
16:10)
- What about someone whose
body exudes a fragrant healing
oil
(St. Nicholas of Myra, St.
Charbel, and many others)?
Check out the book The Incorruptibles by Joan Carroll Cruz (her book Eucharistic
Miracles is also a good one.)
She also has another
book, Mysteries
Marvels Miracles: In the Lives of
the Saints.
There is no way Baptists
could compete with the holiness of
Catholic saints.
Eric
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Eric
followed-up later:
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Pat,
I neglected to mention this
but holiness is not all about signs
and wonders. It's a quick and easy
thing to point out, but if you sit
down and read the lives of the saints,
you see the depth of their holiness
in what they did. For example, I
am reminded of Blessed Pier-Giorgio
Frassati giving his bus money to
the poor and walking instead. I wish
I could give more examples but they
are definitely there.
- Instead of leaving the books for
her to pick them up, why don't you
read them in her presence and quote
parts of them to her or let her notice
what you are reading and ask questions?
If most Catholics are not godly it's
because most Catholics don't live
out Catholicism, but that doesn't
prove her point. It just proves that
most Catholics aren't taking the
medicine. No wonder they aren't godly.
- Why don't you ask her if the fact
that so many Jews were ungodly during
various points of the Old Testament
history of salvation proved that
Judaism was not true?
The People
of God have always been a stubborn,
disobedient people. That doesn't
prove the faith is not true.
I'm not sure what the context of
this is, whether she is constantly
grousing about Catholics being ungodly
or whether that's just the reason
she gives when asked. If she's grousing
about it, then perhaps she needs
to be told that our priorities are
to occupy ourselves with our own
sins and our own salvation, not others'.
Also, point out to her that the context
of Matthew 7:15-23 is that of prophets.
It's not referring to rank and file
Christians. It has to do with the
behavior of those who claim to be
prophets. Even if you extend this
to teachers, we base our teachings
on the teachings of saints, who bear
good fruit (refer
back to my comment on saints and
their holiness).
You
don't judge a religion by the behavior
of its rank and file.
Eric
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Mike
replied:
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Hi, Pat —
You are always going to have various
parishes in the Church that lead
stellar examples as well as others
that, sadly, lead scandalous examples.
Personally, I wish more members in
our Church had the zeal and joy some
of our separated brethren have.
Nevertheless, you have to follow
the Lord and the one Church He established
on St. Peter and his successors.
- Pray for your wife on a regular
basis.
- Be ready to answer common Protestant
objections by:
- Be a loving husband always doing
kind things for her.
It's her free will; not yours. You
you have to respect that.
I used to run a free program that sent Catechisms to seeking Protestants and non-Christians but no longer have the financial or operational means to do this anymore.
When I did have the financial means, of all the Protestant denominations that asked for a free Catholic Catechism, Baptists were the number one denomination interested receiving one so, with prayer, she may be back soon.
If so, encourage her to consider buying a cheap copy of the Catechism of the Catholic Church to learn everything we believe as Catholics, anew.
Also share with her that faithful Catholics don't leave Peter because of Judas behavior.
Hope this helps,
Mike
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