Cynthia,
The only moral responsibly you have is to be respectful and to treat others as you would like to be treated.
You do not have to keep someone as a friend if that person is not meeting the standards of friendship. It sounds like the situations you described warrant ending the friendships. In the work environment it may be difficult to do in as much as the persons may try to retaliate, causing a threat to your employment.
If you can simply pull back from contact to only what is required that would be best. Remain civil, but keep your distance. You don't necessarily have to say directly that it is over, but you can create the effect by action — just do it without malice. If that fails, a verbal cue will be required.
In other friendship or family situations, it is healthiest if you do not live with the persons with whom you have troubles. I would rely on having a physical space to help improve the situation.
Find positive people to bring joy into your life, that will be a necessary counterweight to the heaviness of the others.
Peace,
Bob Kirby
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