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I have difficulty with envying the sinner and accepting the way God has made me.
I am a very sensitive person and I seem much more vulnerable to this than others. I have tried the whole promiscuity thing in my late teens and 20s but I was often the one who faced the negative repercussions.
There are other women who can enjoy the pleasure of sex without wanting any attachment from their partners. I have also envied those who experimented with drugs and alcohol. When I was at school (my university), I was often a foolish person when I was drunk. I was a lightweight and I would ruin the mood by getting emotional.
Interestingly enough, some people can thrive on the sex, drugs, and alcohol lifestyle. Nothing bad happens to them. I envy those who enjoy all sorts of worldly pleasures without repercussions and I secretly wish the Lord would punish them. It seems like God loves them more.
Why did He make me so weak?
Some say it is a blessing to have a sensitive conscience but I fail to see it that way. We allegedly all have weaknesses but some weaknesses seem worse than others.
Savannah
{ Why did God make me weak and how do I handle my envy of those having sex w/no consequences? }
Bob replied:
Dear Savannah,
How much you need to learn from a loving mother and Father (pray the Rosary and connect with our Mother Mary and our Heavenly Father). You are just a child, a child of God, who has gone very much astray. You need to put your life in God's hands and turn away, completely, from all these sinful pleasures, repent of your past mistakes, and don't look back.
What you miss in your life is joy and happiness, love and meaning. You can't find it in the cheap party and loose sexual lifestyle, and you shouldn't envy those who seem to enjoy it, because if they don't repent they will suffer Hell for all eternity —- that is the ultimate "bad thing" that could happen to anyone.
You wouldn't envy that, right?
Don't be fooled by appearances, the devil plants all these lies in peoples heads to make them think they are enjoying and conversely missing out on fun, but He is a liar and He knows the truth —- they are losing their souls.
What you need is a little inspiration. I suggest reading about some of the Saints or Marian apparitions like Fatima. You could search the internet and find a good book to order. Pray about it and ask God to give you a little inspiration on what to find and read.
You have a sensitive heart because God made you that way, not to engage in the hook-up culture, but to be the beautiful person you were intended to be. Stop believing those people are happy; their pleasure will be short lived. No one who drinks deeply of immorality will find joy in life.
Finally, go to Confession regularly, like monthly, or even bi-weekly. Don't miss Mass on Sunday, and pray everyday. The Rosary is the best daily devotion, do it. If you do all these things you will be in God's will and your life will have more peace, but not necessarily less suffering.
Suffering is part of the Christian path, for we must follow Christ. The difference is, we suffer for a great reward, with a great love for God and others, knowing that God can use our struggles and weaknesses and trials all for the good for those who need it. So, if you become the best version of yourself, in Christ, you may even find a man that is looking to do the same and maybe something blessed will come forth.
P.S., I'll be praying for you.
Peace,
Bob Kirby
Mike replied:
Dear Savannah,
In addition to Bob's reply, I just wanted to specifically address one part of your question.
The consequences of Adam's sin for humanity.
.
.
405 Although it is proper to each individual, (cf. Council of Trent: DS 1513) original sin does not have the character of a personal fault in any of Adam's descendants. It is a deprivation of original holiness and justice, but human nature has not been totally corrupted: it is wounded in the natural powers proper to it, subject to ignorance, suffering and the dominion of death, and inclined to sin - an inclination to evil that is called concupiscence. Baptism, by imparting the life of Christ's grace, erases original sin and turns a man back towards God, but the consequences for nature, weakened and inclined to evil, persist in man and summon him to spiritual battle.
406 The Church's teaching on the transmission of original sin was articulated more precisely in the fifth century, especially under the impulse of St. Augustine's reflections against Pelagianism, and in the sixteenth century, in opposition to the Protestant Reformation. Pelagius held that man could, by the natural power of free will and without the necessary help of God's grace, lead a morally good life; he thus reduced the influence of Adam's fault to bad example. The first Protestant reformers, on the contrary, taught that original sin has radically perverted man and destroyed his freedom; they identified the sin inherited by each man with the tendency to evil (concupiscentia), which would be insurmountable. The Church pronounced on the meaning of the data of Revelation on original sin especially at the Second Council of Orange (529) (DS 371-372) and at the Council of Trent (1546). (cf. DS 1510-1516)
407 The doctrine of original sin,
closely connected with that of
redemption by Christ, provides
lucid discernment of man's situation
and activity in the world. By
our first parents' sin, the devil
has acquired a certain domination
over man, even though man remains
free. Original sin entails "captivity
under the power of him who thenceforth
had the power of death, that is,
the devil". (Council of Trent (1546): DS 1511; cf. Hebrews 2:14) Ignorance of
the fact that man has a wounded
nature inclined to evil gives
rise to serious errors in the
areas of education, politics,
social action (cf. John Paul II, Encyclical Letter His Holiness Pope St. John Paul II Centesimus Annus 25) and morals.
408 The consequences of original
sin and of all men's personal
sins put the world as a whole
in the sinful condition aptly
described in St. John's expression, "the
sin of the world". (John 1:29) This expression
can also refer to the negative
influence exerted on people by
communal situations and social
structures that are the fruit
of men's sins. (cf. John Paul II, Reconciliatio et Paenitentia 16)
409 This dramatic situation of "the
whole world [which] is in the
power of the evil one" (1 John 5:19; cf. 1 Peter 5:8) makes
man's life a battle:
The whole of man's history has
been the story of dour combat
with the powers of evil, stretching,
so our Lord tells us, from the
very dawn of history until the
last day. Finding himself in the
midst of the battlefield man has
to struggle to do what is right,
and it is at great cost to himself,
and aided by God's grace, that
he succeeds in achieving his own
inner integrity.