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Anonymous Adrian wrote: |
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Hi, guys—
I am a newlywed from Florida and my
husband and I have a very strong devotion
to our Catholic Faith. Like many Christians,
we don't want to do anything that may offend
our dignity and our love. We just want to
know what acts should not be performed by
any married couple.
For example, we would like to know if oral
sex is sinful. I know that some priests are
more liberal than others, and others are more
strict. We would like to know the answer according
to Catholic doctrine.
Thank you for your attention and God bless
all of you.
Sincerely,
Adrian
P.S. I love this web site. It is really helpful
and God is using all of you as instruments
of the Lord.
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| { As devoted newlyweds, what acts like oral sex, are sinful for married couples according
to the Church? } |
Mary
Ann replied:
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Dear Adrian,
Oral sex is morally disordered if
the husband's emission of sperm is
intentionally brought to occur outside
of normal intercourse — and
that is the usual intent of what
is termed oral sex.
It is licit and proper to perform
activities that will help to bring
a spouse closer to climax, but it
is not licit:
- to purposely frustrate
the nature of the marital act, or
- to induce climax in a man or woman
without reference to intercourse.
Nowadays, many young women have
been acculturated into the belief
that performing oral sex is their
duty. Middle schools, movies and
songs are saturated with the message.
Fellatio essentially makes the woman
a sex-servant, excluding her:
- sexuality
- fertility, and
- person
from the sexual event.
Mary Ann Parks
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John
replied:
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OK,
Let me take a shot at this, and
I'll try to be as delicate as possible.
As far as I know, there is no specific
teaching which rises to the level
of doctrine; however, I believe a Bishop's conference addressed
this in the following way:
| Oral sex cannot be used as a substitute
for intercourse, in that it would
separate the unitive act from
the procreative act. |
Husband and wife are not precluded
from engaging in such acts, if they
are not intentionally doing so to
avoid intercourse and conception;
it is a permissible form of foreplay,
as are other forms of stimulation.
I would suggest you read:
Man and Woman He Created Them: A Theology of the Body – August 1, 2006 by Pope St. John Paul II (Author), Michael Waldstein (Translator)
I don't
believe it deals with specific
acts, but it certainly deals with
the dignity of marital love.
John
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Eric
replied:
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Adrian,
I agree with John's recommendation
of the Theology of the Body (John Paul the Great's catechesis
on marital love), but you may
find it helpful to listen to a summary
of it first. Christopher West has
an excellent one, a ten-CD set called Naked Without Shame.
I highly recommend this set of CDs,
and to boot, it's only $9.99 on Amazon. It explains the complete teaching
of the Church on married love — and
it is a beautiful teaching indeed; very
different from the common image you
get about the Catholic Church's teaching
on human sexuality.
Eric Ewanco
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John
replied to part of Mary Ann's reply:
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Adrian,
Mary Ann said:
Fellatio essentially makes the woman
a sex-servant, excluding her:
- sexuality
- fertility, and
- person
from the sexual event.
I think we have to give all sexual
behavior a context. fellatio (and/or) cunnilingus, as a substitute for
intercourse, violates the natural
law. Unfortunately, due to the recent
foible of a certain ex-President, many
young people have taken on the belief
that oral sex is not sex, and thus,
engage in the activity while lying
to themselves. Both male and female
become servants of lust rather than
of the natural love called for in
marital life.
That said, oral sex as foreplay between
a husband and wife, does not fall
under the category above, so long
as the purpose is not to avoid intercourse,
and in the case of the male, the
act is not intended to cause climax
outside of the vagina.
I don't know that stimulation performed
on a woman must be after intercourse,
in fact many women need stimulation
prior to intercourse in order to
engage in intercourse.
The bottom line in these cases must
be the intention of the couple.
- Are they expressing love or just
lust?
- Are they intending to prevent
pregnancy?
John DiMascio
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John
Haas, President of the National
Catholic Bioethics Center replied:
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Hi, Mike —
To my knowledge, there is no official
Church teaching on the matter. If
the practice is used to avoid procreation,
it is clearly sinful. There is also
the danger of bad hygiene, therefore,
placing the one performing the act
at risk.
Furthermore, it should never
be forced on the spouse if he or
she finds it unpleasant or distasteful.
If it is looked upon as a way of
expressing love and the full acceptance
of one another's bodies, there would
appear to be no moral problem, if
the other issues are addressed. There
is also the danger of inciting passions
to such an extent that the tenderness
and self-giving of the marital activity
are lost. There have been those who go by appropriate manuals
who have simply forbidden it as sodomy,
but I do not think this prohibition
would apply if it were to lead to
a fully consummated marital act.
Those are merely my two-cents worth
on a topic I prefer avoiding.
John
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