Hi Donna,

Thanks for the question.

Oral sex, in and of itself, is not sin. However, regardless of the vasectomy, oral sex can only be a form of foreplay, not a replacement for intercourse. Hence, the male climax should occur where God and His natural design intended it to occur. Although he may have sinned in purposely mutilating his body (to avoid pregnancy), the couple should continue to complete the sex act during intercourse, rather than during oral sex. To do otherwise, would make you an active participant in his decision to contracept.

I'd venture to say you both need to work out a few more things besides oral sex.

On the one hand, as someone who is now practicing her faith, you should be sensitive to the fact that those who have conversions, have a tendency to be overly zealous. That zeal, often times can turn off their immediate family and friends. I'm not telling you to be less fervent or not to practice your faith. I'm asking you to consider whether or not your new found zeal might be perceived as "in your face" self-righteousness by your husband.

On the other hand, your husband is going to have to learn to accept who you are and what you believe. This is going to take communication from both of you. So the oral sex is fine as foreplay but the problems you allude to, require verbal intercourse as well.

You need to believe in yourself enough to know you're not just there to pleasure him. I'm not saying you shouldn't do it if you're willing but if you really don't like doing it, then regardless of whether it's done in a non-sinful manner or not, you shouldn't do it at all to begin with.

John DiMascio