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Anonymous
wrote:
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Hi guys,
I'm considering converting to Catholicism from
Methodism but have some questions about three
divorces.
My marital background:
- My first: I was young, and married
an older abusive man after having been emotionally
abandoned by my parents and having no one to turn
to. He would not allow me to have a child as
he already had three. On the evening of the
wedding, his idea of consummating marriage
was to tie me up and practice (B and D) [Bondage and Domination]. We were both baptized. I was a baptized Methodist while
he was a baptized member of the Church of Christ.
He was married twice prior to marrying me, and
neither of these previous marriages was annulled.
His first wife was deceased; his second is still
living.
- My second: I then married and had
one child by a man whom I found out never stopped living the
single life, as he never stopped dating and
began viewing internet porn.
He neglected the
marriage by quitting his job and required that
I sustain the marriage and the family — I
asked that he leave. He was a baptized Lutheran,
and had never been married.
- My third: I then married (after cohabiting
with) a twice-divorced Catholic who never received
an annulment from either of his two prior weddings which were conducted by a Justice
of the Peace. He left
me because he did not want to be married. It
wasn't what he thought it would be and children
were not a possibility because we were practicing birth
control.
Based on my marital background:
- What grounds would I have for an annulment
of the first marriage?
- What is the probability
that his prior marriage is still valid?
- If first marriage is considered invalid,
does that automatically make the subsequent
ones invalid?
- If not, does that mean three separate annulments
must be requested or are they all considered
on a single [request/application]?
Thanks!
A confused, but hopeful Catholic convert,
Anonymous
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{
Considering my divorces, is it feasible that I can join the Church and partake in the sacraments? }
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Mary Ann
replied:
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Hi Anonymous,
The first marriage would appear to be invalid because he had no intention of having
children and because he was not free to marry due to his previous marriages.
Invalidity of the first marriage might make the second marriage valid except for the
fact that it appears invalid because the second mate lacked the intention to marry,
i.e. to be monogamous and faithful.
The third marriage, on its own merits, appears invalid from the fact that he did
not intend on having children. One of the two prior marriages of the third mate may
indeed be valid, if he had formally, (with intention and for a serious length of time),
left the Church when he had the civil marriage. The marriage is considered a valid,
non-sacramental marriage. If he was still Catholic, then the civil marriage would
be invalid.
All of these unions need to be reviewed by the Church, so that the Church can declare
them null (invalid) from evidence. They seem to present simple situations, but I
am not an expert. A local Catholic pastor could certainly advise you, and he is the
one to start the process anyway.
Don't worry, just put one foot in front of the other,
and God will make the path a blessing.
— Mary Ann |
Anonymous replied:
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Thank you Mary Ann,
I'm just unsure whether to proceed any further with my hopes of becoming
Catholic.
This issue has been looming over my head. I don't know if I would
be allowed to partake of all the sacraments and all that the Church offers
to the faithful.
Anonymous
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Mary Ann
replied:
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Oh my, don't worry.
It seems pretty straightforward to me.
You don't need
to have anything done until you want to enter into a valid union.
Right
now, from what I
can tell, you are free to convert and to receive the sacraments since you are not living in any sort of marriage.
Mary Ann |
Fr. Jonathan replied:
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Dear Anonymous —
- The first marriage is what is called a Ligamen case. The man was not free to marry you. It is a straightforward process of proving that, so an annulment is not needed — unless you cannot prove his two past marriages.
- This makes the second marriage a valid marriage and, should you want to marry again some day, you would need an annulment of this second marriage. From what you described, assuming it was also a short marriage, it seems straightforward and able to be done — but obviously we only have your side of the story at this point.
- The third marriage would need two Lack of Form cases assuming that you got the annulment of the second. These are easily processed and don't take much time at all.
So, it may look difficult but really doesn't seem difficult from my angle.
As Mary Ann said, you don't need any of these things unless you plan on getting married again to enter the Catholic Church.
Finally, let me ask you to think about the premise of your question. Somehow it doesn't seem quite right to me to make a decision about your faith based upon the legal things that may be needed.
If God is calling you to the Catholic faith for His plan for your salvation, nothing should stop you from entering in. All these things are able to be done in time.
Fr. Jonathan
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