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E.
G.
wrote:
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Hi there —
I am a 40-year-old, baptized Christian woman who has never been married. I have been waiting for the right man and have finally been
blessed and now am engaged to this fine Catholic man.
It is our desire to be wed in the Catholic Church.
My fiancé was married once, 17 years ago in a
civil service, which resulted in a divorce four
months later. He also has a 14-year-old daughter,
out of wedlock who, by the way, is also Catholic.
I know he has sought forgiveness and penance
for his actions through the Church many years
ago. I support his and his daughter faith
entirely and would never deter them from their
path. I agree to support raising his daughter
as a Catholic and may consider converting myself,
although
I am currently at peace with my faith.
- Would my fiancé require an annulment
through the Church before we can be married in
the Catholic Church?
- What are the other requirements to proceed
with a mixed marriage under the rules
of the Church?
Thank you and God Bless.
E. G.
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{
Is an annulment required and will the Church marry us if we both agree we don't want children? }
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Eric replied:
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Hi E. G.,
Assuming that your fiancé was Catholic when he married in a civil ceremony, you may
not need an annulment, though you may be required to produce one.
If so, it is a trivial
matter, mainly involving documentation. It won't require a long wait.
The technical term
for this situation is Defect of Form. The main requirement of a mixed marriage
is that your fiancé (the Catholic party) is obliged to promise to do whatever he
can to raise the kids Catholic. There may be other requirements; I am not an expert
so ask the priest who ends up marrying you.
Hope this helps,
Eric
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Mary Ann replied:
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Hi E. G.,
Your fiancé will need to present the previous union to the Church for examination.
If he was Catholic at the time, the civil marriage would not need an annulment and
the whole process will be quick and simple.
If he had formally left the faith, then
the union would be judged differently. All he has to do is fill out paperwork for
his pastor. He also needs the bishop's permission to marry a non-Catholic,
but this
is a simple formality.
Hope this helps,
Mary Ann
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E.G. replied:
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Hi, guys —
One more question.
Being a 40-year-old, non-Catholic Christian planning on marrying my Catholic fiancé
who already has a Catholic daughter, I would be assuming the role of
stepmother.
My fiancé is 46 and we have decided with his work requirements,
(gone seven months out of the year), that we would not be having anymore children
but would rather focus our love on his daughter.
- Can we still proceed with a marriage in the Catholic Church despite
our agreement not to have anymore children?
Thank you and God Bless.
E. G.
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Mary Ann replied:
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Hi E. G.,
No. A decision at the time of the marriage to permanently exclude children invalidates
the marriage.
Marriage by nature is open to life, even if for a time and a serious
reason, one must defer conception.
Mary Ann
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Fr. Nick replied:
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Dear Mike:
An annulment would not be needed for a Catholic married before a civil
official and divorced. They would need to present a copy of the marriage
license, and because they did not receive permission for the civil marriage,
a Declaration of Nullity due to Lack of Form would be needed. This is an
administrative process. It is normally done in a timely fashion.
Regarding the decision on children. Each perspective spouse has a right to
children by being married. One person may not unilaterally take that right
away from the other. Canon law says that a decision to exclude one of the
primary goods of marriage invalidates the marriage. However, it is possible
to enter a celibate marriage by mutual agreement — but the reason cannot
be only to not to have children.
We can give advise, general guidelines, and opinions, but the very best
direction E. G. or any person can take is to bring their concern to a local
parish priest that is faithful to the Holy Father and the Teachings of
the Church. He will have the ability to apply the:
- total situation
- the
facts
- realities, and
- nuances
to Church Teaching and Canon Law.
Fr. Nick
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