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Kim Abbot
wrote:
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Hi, guys —
I want to become Catholic but am concerned about family issues
and how this will effect my children.
I was raised and baptized in a Protestant church. When I was
18, I went to a girls Catholic boarding house for business school
and ever since I have been drawn to the Catholic faith.
I
never officially converted at that time because of my parents.
I later got into a hasty marriage with a man my family said
was a wonderful fundamentalist from the Southern Baptist faith, my mother's faith. He lived in another state so I went with
him. Later I came to realize, outside
of actually hitting me, that he was an alcoholic and he
became very abusive in every sense of the word abuse. We have two little girls ages 6 and
7.
At one point, I was led to your web site and a few
other Catholic sites where I decided to start praying to Mary
again. I found that St. Rita was the patron saint of the abused
and impossible causes, so I started asking for her help. My
situation seemed hopeless to me at the time. I am glad to say,
that I was given a door out and I am back in my home state close
to my family again. I still having visitation issues with
my husband and he has filed for divorce but I have primary
custody.
I received the materials for your free Catechism program and have started praying the Rosary almost every day.
I feel like I'm in a spiritual dilemma at this point because,
not only am I going to have to deal with my father's Protestant
beliefs, but my ex-husband has very fundamentalist views and
I would want to raise the children Catholic. I have the children
most of the time but I'm afraid it will be very confusing for
them because he will, no doubt, give both the children and I
a lot of grief over it. I don't mind the grief because I'm stepping
out in faith but I worry about the children.
My question is about my divorce and Holy Communion.
- During the conversion
process, would I have to have my marriage annulled before I
would be able to receive Holy Communion?
Thank you very much for reading my story and answering my questions.
I look forward to your response.
Raised Protestant, Catholic at Heart
Kim Abbot
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As one thinking about becoming Catholic, do I need an annulment before receiving Communion? }
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John replied:
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Hi, Kim —
Thank you for your question. The Lord is at work in your situation and
is clearly drawing you home to the Catholic Church. Rather than focusing
on the impediments, place your trust in Him and He will open the doors and
give you the wisdom to deal with the family issues.
Regarding your marital status, divorce does not present a canonical impediment
to your reception into the Church [and/or] the reception of the
sacraments.
It is a common misunderstanding than many have. The issue is not divorce. The issue is a second marriage after divorce. It's in those instances
that, if attainable, an annulment is required.
John DiMascio
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Mary Ann replied:
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Hi, Kim.
What blessings God has worked in your life!
I am glad you are
safe and coming to your spiritual home, too. You will not need an annulment
to become Catholic, or to receive the Eucharist. If you decide to marry again,
you will need one before you can marry. If you remarry without an
annulment, you won't be able to receive the sacraments.
Given the alcoholism you were unaware
of, it sounds that
you have good grounds for an annulment. If there is something about the spouse that is important, that you
didn't know or were deceived about, that is also grounds for annulment. e.g.
Hidden alcoholism — that he knew of but didn't tell you — would qualify.
Then there is the question of consent. It sounds as if your father
had some strong influence in whom you would marry so you might want
to bring these things forward, but don't have to, at the same time you are going through
RCIA.
As for raising the children in the faith,
if you have custody, you can decide that. Whatever difficulties he makes,
you will have to deal with. The difficulties would be no reason for depriving
the children of the faith. If he interferes with their regard of you,
and your faith, and your parenting, that could be considered grounds for
limited visitation.
Hope this helps.
Mary Ann
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Bob replied:
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Kim,
Welcome home to your Catholic family!
I would echo all that Mary Ann said
and add that your children will be drawn to the truth if their hearts are
open. Your actions will be the loudest witness to them. If you are
a more loving, patient, kind, and charitable [person/parent], your life
will attest to the character of the faith you have adopted. It will be
the unspoken Gospel of
your life that will present the most evidence to your children, just as
perhaps others witnessed to you.
Stay close to Mary, pray your Rosary, and let God do His thing.
Peace,
Bob Kirby
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