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Pam Owen
wrote:
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To Whom It May Concern:
My question concerns annulment.
- Why does the Church require an annulment?
- Why do they not accept a court divorce?
I am divorced and wish to re-marry again. We want to marry
by Justice of the Peace or have another minister from another
religion marry us, as the Catholic Church will not marry us,
unless we have had an annulment. The annulment requirement
of the Church has caused me to separate myself from the Church
and seek the teachings of different religions. The most important
thing for me all of my life was to receive Communion at Mass
but if I do not go through the annulment process, I cannot
receive Communion.
- When Jesus was feeding the 5,000 with the bread and fishes,
did he tell the Apostles to ask every one, before they ate,
if they were divorced, had an annulment, or were prostitutes
or thieves?
No, He did not do that. Everyone was fed.
Everyone ate!! As we have been taught so well through the Catholic
Church, this was the first communion that Christ introduced
us to.
- Why does the Catholic Church not give Communion to everyone
who comes to the Church?
I know many couples who are divorced, have remarried by Justice
of the Peace, and they go to Communion. They feel that this
is a man made rule of the Catholic Church and they
ignore the rule. They go to Mass every Sunday and receive Communion.
I have always felt not good enough because I have
not gotten an annulment. The person I want to remarry was raised
Baptist. He also has been through a previous divorce himself.
The Baptist Church accepts a court divorce and will marry us
without hesitation. My new future husband does not understand
the logic of the Catholic Church in regards to annulment.
Also, the annulment process takes a very long time. I heard
that a couple tried to file for an annulment and waited for
two years. It still had not gone through, therefore they just
went and got married by Justice of the Peace.
I have always loved my Catholic Faith as I was raised in a
Catholic home but because of the Annulment process the Church
requires, I have ended up not even going to church at all.
It seems that this rule has torn down my self-esteem and I
do not feel good enough to go to church. I have been seriously
considering joining the Baptist Church because of this. I just
wish the Catholic Church would accept a court divorce and allow
its members to receive the sacraments instead of turning them
away.
Thank you for your help in this matter.
Sincerely,
Pamela
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{
Being frustrated with the annulment process, why doesn't the Church just accept a court divorce? }
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Eric replied:
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Hi Pam,
The answer is simple. Jesus forbade divorce, period:
"Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits
adultery against her." (Mark 10:11)
"Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits
adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery." (Luke
16:18)
We are merely doing what Jesus commanded. It's plain and simple. Jesus
certainly ministered to those who were divorced, but he did not give them
Communion (which in any case was not instituted until the Last Supper).
Whether he baptized them is unclear. The Church does not reject the divorced
and remarried, nor does she refuse to minister to them, she only denies
them the sacraments until they stop living in an adulterous situation.
This is not a teaching of the Catholic Church, nor her invention, but
a Teaching of Christ Himself.
- Do you not accept what Christ teaches?
Eric
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Mary Ann replied:
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Hi Pamela,
The Church is following Jesus, who said that whoever divorces a woman
and marries another commits adultery, and that man should not separate
what God has joined. If one is married, one cannot marry another person
at the same time.
Civil marriages now are worth less, as a contract, than any other sort
of contract, because they can be unilaterally broken at any time for nothing,
so a civil divorce really only means that the civil contract is over. It
does not address the marriage, the bond formed before God and by God, which
is a sacramental bond for baptized people. The sacraments belong to the
Church. In order to allow someone to receive that sacrament, she must be
sure that the person is eligible, i.e. not already married. That's what
the annulment process does.
In this day of complete misunderstanding of
marriage, it is frequent that people marry without any awareness
of what marriage is, or intention to be married as the Church defines it.
If a party to the marriage at the time of marriage:
- does not intend permanence,
- exclusivity, and
- openness to life according to God's plan
then the marriage is null, i.e., it never happened. There are many other
reasons why a putative marriage could be null and void.
As for the feeding of the 5,000, that bread was not Christ Himself. And,
yes, in an emergency, in danger of death, the Church allows the Eucharist
to be given to any baptized person under certain conditions (intention,
desire, contrition). When the issue deals with the permanent bond of the
sacrament of Matrimony, in which a couple is joined to the saving work
of Christ who offers Himself as spouse to His people for the salvation
of the world, then the Church follows Christ's teaching about matrimony.
His teaching should be cared for as one would care for ones pearls - one
should give them to one who knows and accepts what they are, not to those
who would treat them as nothing, which is how the law treats marriage.
(Matthew 7:6)
One of the things that the Protestants protested was the permanence of
marriage, just as the Apostles protested it when Christ taught it, but
Christians should follow Christ. Please understand that the Church is not
saying you are bad. She is just saying, you can't be a bigamist and you
ought not commit adultery! If you are married to one person (this is the
issue that has to be cleared up), then you can't sleep with someone else.
By the way, you may certainly go to Communion, even if you are civilly
married to this present man, if you live in celibacy, but one cannot
be committing adultery and then be receiving Communion, without first confessing
the sin of adultery with the intent of not committing it again. Those who
do so can commit a sacrilege. Usually, however, it is a question of ignorance
because priests wrongly advise them.
Yes, it may take a year or two to get both of your annulments, if they
are possible, but a good "marriage in the Lord"
is worth that. It may take less time or one may not receive an annulment.
Who knows? We must be prepared to do the will of the Lord no matter what.
That is the purpose of this life, which is very short compared to the next.
Hope this helps,
Mary Ann
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Pam replied:
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Okay.
I understand. Can you answer this:
My future spouse was raised Baptist. His previous marriage was through Justice
of the Peace.
Does the Catholic Church require that he go through an annulment also, or
am I the only one who has to go through annulment, as my previous marriage
was Catholic?
Being raised Baptist, he does not understand
the logic of why he would have to do this.
Pam
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Eric replied:
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HI Pam,
Yes. The Catholic Church recognizes as valid, marriages between non-Catholics
so her boyfriend's first marriage would be regarded as putatively valid.
As such, he would need an annulment.
If he married a non-baptized person though, there is a chance he could
avail himself of the Pauline privilege, which allows someone to
dissolve their marriage who converts to Christianity and whose spouse leaves
or causes problems, or the Petrine privilege, which is a slightly
different way of dissolving a marriage to an unbaptized person.
Either one would still require paperwork so for the sake of simplicity
I'm including that under the concept of annulment.
Eric
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Mary Ann replied:
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Well, he might not have to go through the process, but he will need some
basic facts looked at by the priest so as to be able to say that he is
free to marry.
Mary Ann
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John replied:
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Hi Pamela,
Just to add to Marry Ann's comments.
While I sympathize with your situation, I cannot allow certain statements you've
made to stand.
You said:
The annulment requirement of the Church has caused me to separate myself from the
Church
No, it's not the annulment requirement that separates us from the Church, it's the
sin of adultery.
You said:
"It seems that this rule has torn down my self-esteem and
I do not feel good enough to go to church."
The Church is not Dr. Phil or Oprah. Jesus came to call sinners to repent from their
sin and unto eternal life.
The Church is not an institution created to make people
feel good. It is the Mystical Body of Christ that exists
for the Salvation of mankind.
You said:
"The most important thing for me all of my life was to
receive Communion at Mass"
Obviously it wasn't Pamela or you wouldn't be willing to give it
up by entering into an adulterous marriage.
John
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