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Jane Anderson wrote:

Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

Peace of Lord Jesus be with you.

I'm a married mom who is currently living with my husband and three young children.

I am 35 years old and my husband is 40. I am worried about my sex life with my husband.

  • Since we no longer wish to have any more children, does this mean we are not allowed to have any more sexual intercourse?
  • Is it a sin if I ask my husband to practice continence?

Sadly, his mind is still far from God.

Thanks for your quick reply.

Jane

  { Since we do not wish to have any more children, does this mean we can't engage in sexual love? }

Mary Ann replied:

Dear Jane —

It is possible to practice (NFP) Natural Family Planning, wherein a couple uses the woman's natural fertility cycle to avoid children, if there is a serious reason to avoid children. We shouldn't avoid children just because we don't want them, but for a serious reason.

Call your local Catholic bishop's office and ask for a referral to a Natural Family Planning teacher.

You could also look on the internet for websites that discuss the:

Mary Ann

Mike replied:

Dear Jane —

In addition to Mary Ann's fine answer, I just wanted to add something Eric and I said in another reply:

Just to add to what Paul and Eric have said, within the marital covenant, sexual intercourse is always greatly encouraged for two reasons:

  • babies, and
  • the bonding of spouses

As both my colleagues pointed out, there should never be an obstacle to new life at any time. Despite what our modern culture says, God didn't put any limits on family size, but said,

Go forth and multiply. (Genesis 1:26-31)

Through a shared prayer life and spousal conversation, the Lord will tell any couple how big your family should be, despite what our culture tells you.

Hope this helps,

Mike

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