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Jane Doe wrote:

Hi, guys —

I am 21 and I have dated my boyfriend for three years. We have been going on and off in our relationship and the last time I broke up with him, I told my parents how much I loved him and would like to date him again.

I got rejected and I am now forbidden to date him. Being naive in relationships, and with him being my first boyfriend, all I wanted was what's best, so I would tell my parents most everything about him.

  • Is it a sin to see him, behind their backs, even though I'm 21?

We aren't doing anything wrong, just a casual hang out.

Jane

  { If my parents don't like my boyfriend, is it a sin to see him behind their backs, even though I'm 21? }

Mary Ann replied:

Hi, Jane —

At 21, you are free to date whom you wish.

Treating your parents respectfully does not mean doing what they say. They have no right to forbid you to date him, unless you are living with them and they don't want him in their home (which they have a right to decide).

It seems that neither you, nor your parents, have recognized that you are an adult. They may not like the fact that you have dated a man for three years without a marriage commitment, and they may think that you are putting yourself in an occasion of sin, or wasting your time, and they may very well be right.

You need to look at the relationship in an adult way. We should not seriously date people that we wouldn't consider marrying.

Mary Ann

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