|
|
 |
Jennifer C.
wrote:
|
|
Hi guys,
I know a lady who has been very, very involved with the Church for the past 2 years. She has her house blessed and won't
let the children dress as pirates for Halloween saying they will
go to Hell. She puts salt all over her house to keep out the
bad spirits and keep in the good spirits. She even makes cookies
with this salt for internal cleansing. She hands out holy water
to people. She will not even go to her children's school conferences
with the teachers because, she says: the schools don't know what
they are talking about, all she needs is God.
She recently quit
her job because God told her to and
that He would provide for her. Her past is a disaster:
- drugs
- drinking, and
- stripping.
She has three children from three different dads
but never lets them see their fathers. They are really good
dads too!
- Is there some way to show her or tell her that God wants these
kids to have two parents?
She says that, her money is her right and that's what she is living on. The fathers don't seem to care
about the money; they just want to see there kids more. I think its a game to her.
I need a way to show her:
- she is getting carried a way, and
- that the fathers should be able to see their children!
The only
way to get through to her is to know my religion. I'm a bit
dusty at the moment.
Any help or advice would be appreciated,
Jennifer
|
| {
Do you have any advice for a mother who is not allowing her children
to visit their fathers? }
|
|
Mary Ann
replied:
|
Good for you for caring, Jennifer!
You can use religion to help this, probably
not very well, young, woman. Holy water and blessed salt are great things,
but prayer and sacramentals do not dispense us from our duties.
According to Catholicism, she has the duty to know what is going on at
her children's school. According to Catholic teaching, she has the obligation
to allow her children their right to have a father. She is doing wrong.
Religion is more than spirituality, it involves
moral obligations. Her duties as the children's mother
are being seriously neglected.
- She is sinning by being
passive and presumptuous of God's help, which is against
the First Commandment and the Great Commandment — love God
with all my heart, mind, and strength.
- She sins against
the Seventh Commandment by stealing the father-relationship
from the children.
- She is violating several Commandments
by not overseeing her children's education.
Now, it may
be true, that there are things going on, that you may not
know about - or things may be as you describe. If
she asks you, or presents you with something, for comment,
you can speak to her from the above religious point of
view, but kindly, because it seems she is very injured
and hurt.
Mary Ann
|
Bob replied:
|
Dear friend,
Wow! You are in a difficult situation. Your friend's actions almost seem
to border on the superstitious or obsessive (and given her history, I
fear mental or emotional illness). If that is the case, reason may be ineffective.
Your idea of appealing to her faith has merit, but it still relies on her
being reasonable, which seems very questionable.
With respect to the children, if you could press upon her that it is potentially
a sin to deprive her children of a relationship with their father (provided
there is no abuse, etc.) then maybe her conscience could kick in.
You would
have to point out that children who are deprived of a two-parent family,
with both a father and mother, are at greater risk for many potentially harmful
situations. I would try and dig up some articles on this by:
- searching some family
issue web sites or
- by doing a general Google search.
There have been studies that
show the disadvantages of not having a father relationship within the household
and the resultant statistical downsides. You could suggest that she talk
to her priest about it. If she is truly obeying her God and faith,
then she should respect the priest's advice.
Ultimately, you ought to know your faith better; go to a Catholic bookstore
and find something good to read (the Bible and Catechism are essential
for understanding). Ask God to lead you to something that could inspire
you and help you to connect with her. Also, pray for her and go to Mass
yourself, if you don't already go. Your willingness to walk the walk and not just talk the talk will especially improve your credibility with your friend, as
well as help you grow in your own faith.
Through this experience you may learn how important it is that we all lead
holy lives and how much God depends on us to help each other. Your commitment
to your friend may be God leading you to discover his commitment to you.
Let him in and good things will happen for both of you.
Peace,
Bob Kirby
|
|
|
|
