Hi, Vanessa —

Thanks for your question.

The information you were given is correct. Catholics who marry, must marry in the Church.

Now your situation can be rectified. All you need to do is get your marriage convalidated and blessed. This, of course, assumes that there are no obstacles.

For example: If your husband was previously married and divorced, then the first marriage would have to go through the annulment process. If an annulment were granted, then you'd be able to marry in the Church.

If your husband is not Catholic, you'll need a dispensation from the bishop in order to marry, and, again, (if he's not Catholic), you would have to agree to raise the children Catholic as well as be open to as many children God gives you; living out a Catholic marriage in every respect.

Catholics understand marriage as a Holy Sacrament. It's not just an agreement between two people who exchange promises.

We believe the two become one flesh. The marital act is, therefore, a Holy and sacramental act. The whole of married life, is meant for the sanctification of the couple and the children.

This teaching is absent from secular institutions and while other religions may have aspects of this truth, you won't find it in it's entirety in any church that doesn't consider marriage as a sacrament . . . meaning most Protestant churches.

John

Vanessa —

As well as being open to as many Children God gives you; you have to live out a Catholic marriage in every respect.

Every marital act must be open to life, not closed to it by an act of the will. This does not mean that one cannot use the God-made periods of infertility in the woman's cycle (the man is always fertile!), and it does not mean that one cannot use them exclusively, in order to avoid children when there is a serious reason to do so. The Church encourages us to a responsible parenthood,
not to have as many children as possible.

The reason that you may not receive Communion until your marriage is made valid is this:

For a Catholic, a valid marriage must be a sacramental marriage: a Church marriage according to Catholic form, with a Catholic witness and with Church permission, if needed, to marry a non-Catholic.

Baptized Catholics who don't marry this way are not really married, except in the eyes of the state, civilly. Baptized Catholics are such transformed beings by Baptism that they must be married in Christ to be married at all! To be married in Christ, if you are Catholic, is to be married according to the Church's form.

The Church can change her requirements though. (For instance, at one time there was no requirement for a witness! - think of the abuses that happened!)

Mary Ann