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Nissa
wrote:
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Hi, guys —
- How do I find out, for sure, what God's intended
vocation for me is?
- What do you recommend?
I'm a 25-year-old female and have always believed
and desired marriage as my vocation.
I'm drawn to it for many reasons:
- I can't think of a better way to spend
my life than loving and sacrificing myself
for a husband and children. Raising children
in the faith and helping my spouse grow
in virtue would be a great blessing, not
to mention sharing my life with others.
I love kids and would rather be a humble,
stay-at-home, mom than a successful career
woman. My picture of success is having
a large Catholic family that sticks together
and supports each other
in hard times and in good times.
The Catholic family seems like a more and
more rare thing in today's world but it's
so foundational to our society, culture,
and lives. Both sides of my family have
Catholic roots, but, to date, divorces
and vices including alcoholism have led
to a split and loss of faith among some. These divorces
have long lasting, generational affects,
even on my parent's lives.
- I think one of the greatest gifts I could
give my parents, that would also
bring them much happiness, is marrying
and having grandchildren for them to enjoy.
I could offer them the family that they
never had.
In addition, I would be proud and driven
to be the one person in my family to marry
a Catholic man and form a Catholic family
with him, letting the family grow with
as many children as God blesses us with.
- Lastly, I believe I have skills that
mesh with being a wife and mother.
- Nevertheless, what if these desires and
thoughts are not in tune with what God
has planned for me?
- Surely He wouldn't give me these desires
if he didn't intend marriage for me . . . right?
I've found it hard to meet other like-minded
Catholic men, much less Catholic men at all.
I'm already 25, and many people are already
married or getting married. The pool of available
men is shrinking! (ha, ha, ha.) My only real
and longest relationship was about 11 months;
I thought
I could marry this guy but the circumstances
were not in our favor.
I've joined Catholic groups and have tried
to be as active as possible in my parish,
in order to meet friends and possibly new
dates. I try to pray about it often and visit
the Blessed Sacrament to seek help in my vocation.
- Could my desire for a vocation to the
married life be something that our modern
society has put into my head?
- All the romantic songs and chick flicks
make me believe this is my calling, but
what if,
in fact, marriage is not what God has planned
for me?
- Could the circumstances of my life:
- no Catholic family
- no large circle of Catholic friends,
and
- a lack of dating history
be a sign
that marriage is not for me?
When a nun found out I wasn't married, she
asked me what I'm doing with my life.
She subsequently invited me to a meeting at
her convent though I didn't go.
- Is this how God could be communicating
his plan for me?
- How can I know for sure?
Thanks!
Nissa
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Although I feel called to the married life, how do I find out, for sure, God's real
vocation for me? }
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Mary
Ann replied:
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Dear Nissa,
The Church teaches that grace builds
on nature. Usually God draws us by
the heart, so that your good desires
are an indication of your vocation.
Of course, we should always pray
for guidance and offer our plans
and desires to the Lord.
Don't worry, God will lead you.
Mary Ann
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Mike
replied:
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Hi, Nissa —
I would concur with my colleague
Mary Ann. Prayer is the best way
to discern a calling.
If the Lord is calling you to a married
life with a Catholic man, he will
provide one if you persist in your petition to bring the right man into
your life.
Also check out my Single
Catholics page.
I know societal pressures can be
hard as a single Catholic woman (or man),
who wishes to marry, grows older,
but I would strive to have faith.
(Read Genesis, Chapters 17 to 21!)
Finally, maybe the Lord is calling
you to be a single, practicing Catholic
woman. There are so many woman in
the Church who have difficulty accepting
some of the Church's basic teachings.
For that reason, you may have a calling to be a role
model, maybe as a female Catholic
apologist {one who defends the
teachings of the Catholic faith).
Having done this for a few years,
I can say with confidence, there
are a few things that are required,
including:
- having a daily prayer life
- living a sacramental life in
the Church
- knowing the teachings of our
Faith; knowing the Catechism is
a good start
- being humble enough to accept
correction when you are proven
wrong by a colleague
- being courageous enough to stand
up for the teachings of the Church
when everyone else is rejecting
them.
- when answering questions:
- listen first
- ask clarifying questions,
if needed
- being patient
- try to understand where
the questioner is coming
from, and
- be as charitable as possible
while sticking to the teachings
of the Church
Whatever vocation you choose, the Lord will always respect it and assist you in your vocation if it is founded on Catholic Christian principles.
My advice to very young Catholic visitors reading this is the same as I told my niece and nephews. Find a vocation based on Christian values that you:
Again, prayer is the best and only
way to truly discern your vocation.
Hope this helps,
Mike
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