|
Hello Shirley,
Let's look at this logically. Here is the data we Catholics work with:
- Jesus condemned divorce, and the Church, In His Name, teaches marriage is indissoluble
- The Church must uphold the moral law promulgated by Christ
- All marriages are presumed to be valid unless proven otherwise
(For a Catholic, this means going though the annulment process.)
In your case, it sounds like you're Catholic and married a second time after a civil divorce.
This is not a valid marriage because your first marriage is presumed valid. The man of your second union also is presumed to be validly married to his (first) wife, until or unless, an annulment was granted. Since you do not know this information, you must presume it was not granted and that marriage is valid.
Contact the parish of his ex-wife to see if any annulment was requested.
Logic dictates the union you are now in is objectively adulterous; for even though your presumed husband has passed, your present partner's presumed wife is still alive.
This might seem uncomfortable for you, but if we want to begin to get things right, we must first begin with recognizing the truth. Marriage isn't simply what we say it is; it has objective criteria laid out by God in the order of creation. The state does not recognize this.
- Begin immediately to live apart from your present partner, and if that is not reasonably, practical, or possible then live as brother and sister.
- Go to Confession and confess anything related to this that you accuse yourself of being guilty of.
- Find out if your present partner's presumed wife has obtained an annulment. If she has not, have your husband begin the process, if both of you choose to go that route.
- If she already has obtained an annulment, you and your present partner are free to marry. Since your civil marriage is not valid, you must marry within the Church.
Before you do any of this please make an appointment to see your pastor to talk all of this out. If you have stopped going to church, register at a local parish, attend Sunday Masses, and get the ball rolling.
There's nothing more important than being right with God.
God blessings on your efforts,
Paul
|
