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Anonymous wrote:

Hi, guys —

I'm not sure how to ask this, so I'm just going to be straight forward.

I am Catholic (my husband is Baptist) and I have committed adultery.

I dated a man who was married and he ended up divorcing his wife and marrying me. I'm not sure if he divorced her specifically for me, but I was one of the women who was having an affair with him at the time of his divorce and we latter got married.

Anyway, the guilt and shamefulness I feel for what I have done is tremendous. I still go to the Catholic Church but I do not receive Holy Communion, and it is painfully hard on my heart not to do so.

I don't receive Communion because I do not believe a priest can grant me forgiveness because I am currently living in sin by being married to my husband. I do try to go to Eucharistic Adoration to talk to Jesus about everything, including this. My question is:

  • I was wondering since I go to speak to Jesus in the Eucharist and I tell him my sins (especially my mortal ones) and ask him for forgiveness, because I can no longer go to a priest, can I now receive Holy Communion again?

I know Jesus:

  • doesn't actually say I am absolved of my sins after I visit with Him
  • nor does He give me a penance to do

but:

  • Does this mean he hasn't absolved me from my sins either and therefore I'm still unable to receive the Eucharist during Mass?

Thank you for answering my question,

Anonymous

  { Why see a priest if I don't divorce, because as long as I'm living in sin, I can never be forgiven? }

Mike replied:

Dear Anonymous,

Thanks for the question.

First, I'm glad you sent in your question. It tells us that you wish to move in a more saintly direction.

You said:

  • I was wondering since I go to speak to Jesus in the Eucharist and I tell him my sins (especially my mortal ones) and ask him for forgiveness, because I can no longer go to a priest, can I now receive Holy Communion again?

I know Jesus:

  • doesn't actually say I am absolved of my sins after I visit with Him
  • nor does He give me a penance to do

but:

  • Does this mean he hasn't absolved me from my sins either and therefore I'm still unable to receive the Eucharist during Mass?

Yes, you haven't been absolved of any mortal sins and you are still unable to receive the Eucharist. The Lord Jesus instituted the Sacrament of Confession for the forgiveness of all sins and mortal sins can only be forgiven in Confession. Please keep in mind what my colleague Eric has said in the past:

The Confessional is a tribunal of mercy and healing, not of judgment. The point is not to accuse you or impose guilt; the point is to relieve guilt and apply the balm of mercy to sins so that they might be healed. A sin is like an injury, and the priest is like a doctor.

  • Is there any reason you feel you can no longer go to a priest?

As to your marital history and current situation, we are not priests. If you truly want to make things right with the Lord it is important you first go to Confession and mention every sin you've committed to the best of your knowledge, then make an appointment with a pastor or priest to talk about how to bring your spiritual life up to the next level. He will also be able to help you discern if, and when, you would be able to receive Holy Communion.

It is true that for sins to be forgiven you have to make an effort not to commit that sin again.
This is why, in your situation, making an appointment with the pastor or a priest is important.

My colleagues my have some additional advice as well.

I hope this helps,

Mike

Anonymous replied:

Mike,

  • Thanks for answering my question but, did not Christ Institute the Sacrament of Confession because He wasn't going to be here to do it Himself?

Well, Christ is here in the Eucharist and I have always told him everything when I go see Him, but now I'm feeling like, Why see Him if He's not really here. If He can't forgive a sin when I'm with Him, He must not really be there.

  • And of course, I would not receive Holy Communion unless I have gone to Confession but why see a priest if I don't divorce, because as long as I'm living in sin, I can never be forgiven or receive Communion?

I don't need a priest to tell me that; I'm Catholic and I know I am in the wrong.

Once again,

Thanks for answering my question.

Anonymous

Fr. Jonathan replied:

Mike —

She should call her Tribunal and work on the Marriage situation first with an expert and then go to Confession. She needs an expert to analyze it and this can be done over the phone.

You were good on the Adoration part. God is truly present there in the Eucharistic but she needs a different type of Grace that comes with the sacrament of Confession.

Fr. Jonathan

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