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Beyond Me Brian wrote:

Hi, guys —

  • Is it ever acceptable to disown a parent?

I think I should be a filial son, but my mother has done terrible, terrible things for going on two years now and she feels no remorse.

I threatened to withhold contact with my wife and future children, and she says she'd rather continue her rampage, even for just a little longer, than ever meet them. I feel like it's a son's duty to maintain a good relationship with both parents, no matter what, but I really don't want to at this point.

  • Is there anywhere in the Bible that addresses something like this?

This moral question is far beyond my ability to answer and I want God's Word on it.

Brian

  { Is it ever acceptable to disown a parent and are there Bible passages that address this situation? }

Bob replied:

Dear friend,

Thanks for the question.

I'm sorry for your troubles. You are entitled to protect yourself and your family, so disowning is not the appropriate word but rather separating out for as long as is needed — which could be indefinitely. What you can do is simply let her know that you will not be contacting her while she is continuing to (do/say) whatever, and when she stops doing so — then you may resume a relationship.

In other words, it is conditional, just like repentance brings forgiveness, there is always the possibility of reconciliation — until the doorway of death is crossed.

See these Bible verses:

51 Do you think that I have come to give peace on earth? . . . 53 They will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against her mother, . . . etc. (Luke 12:51, 53, Luke 12:51ff)

35 For I have come to set a man against his father and daughter against her mother. . . .

Matthew 10:35

37 He who loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me. . . .

Matthew 10:37

Sometimes our faith causes our family relationships to break down, when our allegiance to Christ conflicts with family members. Doing the right thing is costly and not easy.

You can always pray for and love your mom from a distance and maybe you'll see the day when she comes around.

Peace,

Bob Kirby

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