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MakingEveryEffort Miguel wrote:

Hi, guys —

I'm currently falling short in the sin of masturbation. I do not view any explicit material. I just feel that my body and my brain needs to do it. I seriously do not want to do it because I want to please My Lord but my brain is constantly sending signals to my body.

When I feel the urge, I pray and then it disappears but then, there it is again, the urge, and after a lot of fights, I end up falling into the sin again. I have a physical condition that creates a lot of stress in my life but it is something that at this moment can't be cured. I don't know what to do. I love My Lord and I don't want to let Him down. I think I need more help. I don't have a girlfriend or anything.

  • Should I tell somebody about this?
  • Should I do something else apart from praying?

I have fear of my God that He won't bless me the day after I have committed this sin.

  • What can I do?


  { Is there anything else I can do, apart from praying, that will help me cease masturbating? }

Paul replied:

Dear Miguel,

One thing to remember is that the brain is the most sexualized organ in the body. If the mind is thinking about sex or is entertaining sexual fantasies, the body is sure to follow. Only a pure mind insures a pure body.

So my primary advice for kicking this unnatural habit is to consciously train your eyes to immediately avert away from any sexualized image in the media or elsewhere. Even ones that may seem harmless.

This is a challenge in our society, but necessary. Also, consciously train your mind to immediately think of something else once a sexual thought or feeling takes hold. Perhaps even do something else before the "it" takes hold of you.

Since it's hard to judge how much freedom you have with each unnatural act performed, it's important you take this to Confession every time it occurs. The forgiveness of Christ and the grace He offers through the sacrament of Confession are necessary for winning the battle.

My colleagues will probably have additional advice for you.

Do not give up.



Bob replied:

Dear Miguel,

Thanks for the question.

You are not alone. This is a struggle common to most males at one point or another, and biology does play into it.

Just like women have a menstrual cycle which changes their hormones throughout its course, men too have different hormonal patterns and thereby, at different times, increased sperm production. Just as when your bladder is full you want to relieve yourself, there is a sexual corollary as well. High sperm count will increase sexual libido.

  • So what can you do with this information?
  1. First, know you aren't crazy and it's not all about lust.
  2. Second, you can make this easier by coaching yourself effectively, and know that there are ways to lessen the struggle, or make it worse . . . and prayer is vital of course.

By avoiding porn and other sexually triggering material you are already doing the first step.

Second, know that your body will develop its own habits so, if you feed the sexual build up by masturbating, you are in effect training your body into knowing it can have a release every time it builds to a certain point. So set a goal to monitor your craving and push through it without giving in. Then see how your body responds. You may have a wet dream, or a non-orgasm related ejaculation of excess sperm during a urination (generally at the end of peeing, though this may not happen until weeks have passed your craving).

Your body will learn that (if it is not getting a sexual release) it will either reabsorb sperm or eliminate it as necessary to achieve balance, and the libido will level out as well. The end result is that by not giving in, your urges will diminish and you will be able to get on with life without feeling like a slave to this. The habit will be broken.

When your resistance to the urges feel weak, that is when you need to call on God's help. Pray your Rosary (everyday is best), go to Confession regularly, and go to Mass — on a weekday even — especially when you feel particularly weak. It is like going to the spiritual gym and getting a workout — you get stronger. The temptations grow weaker.

Lastly, if you feel like you are failing, don't quit. Be patient with yourself. Victory comes to those who persevere. You can always get an accountability buddy and, if they are warranted, use other resources, but I know many who have found freedom by just following some of these simple steps.

Peace and I'll keep you in my prayers.

Bob Kirby

Mike replied:

Dear Miguel,

Because your question is very common, I have put together a list of similar questions and answers, in addition to the great answers Paul and Bob have provided.

Under the Similar Issues . . .  page here:

Similar Issues sorted by Faith categories/classes.

you will find a specific block on:

On Masturbation Struggles and some advice.

Also check out the personal advice section under the Frequently Asked Questions:

Lust, sins of the flesh, concupiscence and similar issues related to illnesses.

Here, you will find an array of suggestions and advice from Eric, Bob, and myself.

I hope this helps,


Miguel replied:

Thank you so much Mike!

I will take a look and read those web postings as well!!

Thanks for taking the time to answer me.

God bless you and your family,


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