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Charles,
First of all, you should *never* feel unworthy and ashamed to pray.
Like the father of the Prodigal Son, God is always eager to take you back and is just waiting for you to turn to Him. Share your struggles with Him, specifically including your struggles with this. Explain how you want to be free. Be completely open and vulnerable.
As for Confession, the solution is simple: Call your local parish and ask the priest to come visit you. That's what they are there for, and any good priest would be happy to make a house call to offer you reconciliation. This is the chief means you have for getting back in the saddle.
Do not be embarrassed to confess this sin.
- If you had an embarrassing medical problem, would you withhold it from your doctor, no matter how much it was destroying your life?
The same thing applies to the sacrament of Confession. You will likely have to go many times, but eventually your issue should improve.
The book Delivered, by Matt Fradd may help you. Also check out the relevant resources on:
https://dads.org (not limited to fathers).
You may benefit from spiritual warfare or even deliverance ministry.
See:
Eric
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