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Anonymous Argentine (guy) wrote:

Hi, guys —

I've been dating a mature widowed woman (in her 60's) for 3 months. She is an Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion. I'm a 67-year-old non-Catholic (Evangelical) widower, and our relationship has grown. But she's been told that, to continue ministering the Eucharist to the home-bound, she must remain celibate.

I agree and I've always thought that this is quite correct, and we haven't had, and we won't have, intimacy until Marriage. However, I suspect that what she really means is, that she must remain single and celibate.

  • Can you please tell me the correct interpretation of what I'm hearing?

Argentine

  { What, if any, is the marital precondition for being an Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion? }

Eric replied:

Argentine,

There is no universal reason I'm aware of that would prevent her from getting married in the Church and serving as an Extraordinary Minister, assuming all her previous spouses have died or she has a declaration of nullity (an annulment) for them, unless there is some unusual local diocesan law or something the Argentinian bishops have decided.

I would interpret this to mean that the two of you can't have intimacy before marriage (properly called "continence"), which is true for anyone.

The best thing to do would be to clarify with whoever informed you of the constraint but until then I'd assume it's continence, not celibacy (which properly is “not getting married”).

Eric

Argentine replied:

Eric,

Thank you so much for your response!

Yes, both of our first spouses from the first marriages have passed and both of us have practiced continence since then. Both of us also believe that we must wait until marriage for intimacy (this is especially difficult given that so many others in our (environ|surroundings) consider "free sex" as a benefit of widowhood for seniors).

I will try to dig into more of the details as to where this comment came from, or even if my special friend may have misinterpreted the instruction.

For clarification, we both live in Ohio, so to the best of my knowledge there is no regional — international "unusual local diocesan law" in the sense of differing dioceses or nations.

Again, thanks for your response!

Blessings!

Argentine

Eric replied:

Argentine,

Celibacy and continence are often confused.

If this was a rumor, not something from an identifiable priest, I wouldn't worry about it.

Eric

Paul replied:

Dear AA,

I very much doubt she meant the latter. If she did mean that one must remain single to be an Extraordinary Minister of the Eucharist, she's mistaken.

To expect people in positions, who represent the parish, to abide by the Church's teachings is reasonable. All Catholics are supposed to abide in them.

Peace,

Paul
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