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Cynthia
Labbe
wrote:
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Hi, guys —
My husband and I taught the Baptism class and we were told
by our pastor that the Godparent's responsibility was to
the parents of our Godchild. We were to be supportive and
to pray for the parents. This did not give any legal rights
or any natural rights in determining what was best for
the child.
We attend Church and try to live a Christian life. We
know we are all sinners and no one is perfect. We had always
had a close relationship with them until we encountered
them and they would turn the child away from us.
At that
same time, they did not return any of our calls . . . inquiring
how they were doing, nor did they stop to visit. We had always previously shared these things. My husband said
he thought it would be good to give them some time and space.
This was very painful for us because we had always spent
time together.
We did receive a call where they said, Hello,
strangers, like it was a joke. This was a period
of two months where we didn't hear from them nor meet with
them after church. My husband did not think this was very humorous. We did write them a letter telling
them that we needed some time and space. I have been praying
for them every day.
They did call and tell us that they felt something was
between us and that they would like to get it out in the open. At
that time, we did not feel ready to discuss the matter
because their initial call made us believe and feel they
thought nothing was unusual. This was very unusual for
our relationship so we have struggled about what, as Godparents,
we should do.
They sent us a printout from your web site that contained
a story similar to ours except that the person did not
want the Godparents for their child. I had mentioned to
my husband that peace should be made between us for the
sake of the child. He believes that they are using this
as emotional blackmail. There is so much going on here.
I know that I wrote to them out of love and pray for them
every day.
- What should we do as Godparents?
- As Godparents, what is our responsibility towards
our Godchild?
Cynthia
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As
Godparents, what does the Church say our responsibility is towards our Godchild? }
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Mary
Ann replied:
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Cynthia,
I think there is something missing in your post
as it seems to start in the middle of the story. I
think that you should take the parents at
their word. It is uncharitable to take offense when
none was intended, and obviously none was intended.
Both couples now seem caught up in emotional tit
for tats with no concrete offense (except that you
asked them for space, for some reason, and in writing,
which is very formal!), however, the other couple
wants to talk, so you should talk.
Try to let go
of your sense of offense, and instead of praying
for them, pray for yourself and your husband, that
your hearts be open to forgiveness.
Mary Ann
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Mike
replied:
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Hi Cynthia,
Let me help, by giving you references to what the
Church teaches about Godparents from:
From the current Catechism of the Catholic Church:
Under the Second Commandment:
2165 In Baptism, the Christian receives his
name in the Church. Parents, godparents, and
the pastor are to see that he be given a Christian
name. The patron saint provides a model of charity
and the assurance of his prayer.
Under Baptism:
1253 Baptism is the sacrament of faith. But
faith needs the community of believers. It is
only within the faith of the Church that each
of the faithful can believe. The faith required
for Baptism is not a perfect and mature faith,
but a beginning that is called to develop. The
catechumen or the godparent is asked: "What
do you ask of God's Church?" The response
is: "Faith!"
1255 For the grace
of Baptism to unfold, the parents' help is important.
So too is the role of the godfather and godmother,
who must be firm believers, able and ready to
help the newly baptized - child or adult on the
road of Christian life. Their task is a truly
ecclesial function (officium). The whole ecclesial
community bears some responsibility for the development
and safeguarding of the grace given at Baptism.
In the Glossary at the very end of the
Catechism:
Godparent: The sponsor of one who is baptized,
who assumes a responsibility to assist the newly-baptized — child
or adult — on the road of Christian
life (See 1255)
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From the Baltimore Catechism, Question 165:
165. Question. What is the obligation of a godfather
and a godmother?
Answer: The obligation of a godfather and a godmother
is to instruct the child in its religious duties,
if the parents neglect to do so or die. |
From the Catechism of the Council of Trent:
The Sacrament of Baptism
Why Sponsors Are Required At Baptism
In the first instance it should be explained why
at Baptism, besides those who administer the Sacrament,
godparents and sponsors are also required. The
propriety of the practice will at once appear to
all if they recollect that Baptism is a spiritual
regeneration by which we are born children of God;
for of it St. Peter says:
As newborn infants, desire the rational milk
without guile.
As, therefore, every one, after his birth, requires
a nurse and instructor by whose assistance and
attention he is brought up and formed to learning
and useful knowledge, so those, who, by the waters
of Baptism, begin to live a spiritual life should
be entrusted to the fidelity and prudence of some
one from whom they may imbibe the precepts of the
Christian religion and may be brought up in all
holiness, and thus grow gradually in Christ, until,
with the Lord's help, they at length arrive at
perfect manhood.
This necessity must appear still more imperative,
if we recollect that pastors, who are charged with
the public care of parishes have not sufficient
time to undertake the private instruction of children
in the rudiments of faith. |
From Compendium to the Catechism to the Catholic
Church, Question 259:
259. Question. What is required of one who is
to be baptized?
Answer: Everyone who is to be baptized is required
to make a profession of faith. This is done
personally in the case of an adult or by the parents
and by the Church in the case of infants. Also
the godfather or the
godmother and the whole ecclesial community
share the responsibility for baptismal preparation
(catechumenate) as well as for the development
and safeguarding of the faith and grace given at
Baptism. |
My two cents:
If there is something that is on your friend's
mind, (as it sounds); it is important to get it
resolved. Being on the best of terms with your
godchild's parents is very important to any Godparent.
The Godparent has the responsibility:
- to pray for his/her godchild and their parents
and
- to assist the parents in educating the child
in the Catholic Faith
Note I said assist. The Catechism
tells us that the parents are the primary educators
of their children:
1653 The fruitfulness of conjugal love extends
to the fruits of the moral, spiritual, and supernatural
life that parents hand on to their children by
education. Parents
are the principal and first educators of their
children. In this sense the fundamental
task of marriage and family is to be at the service
of life.
This requires sensitivity on both sides:
- the parents have to acknowledge the godparent's
responsibility to aid in educating the child
in the faith and in good practices, like praying
and teaching the child the faith of the Church.
- On the other hand, the godparent has to remember
that they are NOT the parent but they
are only there to aid and assist the parents.
If the relationship between the Godparent and
Godchild's parents is uneasy, to say the least,
persevering prayer can be the best solution until
the situation improves. |
Hope this helps,
Mike
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