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D. Isenhour wrote:

Hi, guys —

I am so glad I found this site. Something very upsetting has happened today and we need some advice.

My sister-in-law was married to a Methodist minister for 27 years. He enlisted into the U.S. Military and was a Chaplain. She followed him around the world and gave up her career and dreams to make his career a reality. After his retirement, they both really found a calling to join the Catholic Church so moved to a small town and converted. Their marriage was blessed by the Church as they were married as Methodists, and not Catholics. This was done so their marriage would be recognized by the Church.

Unfortunately, her husband became mentally unstable. He ended up in a mental ward and was given a maximum dose of electric shock to keep him from trying to kill himself, (which is what got him into the metal hospital to begin with).

My sister-in-law stayed by his side, was supportive, and tried to be the best wife she could. She hosted the local priests in their home for dinners; they were good Catholics.

After a year, my sister-in-law's husband became even more strange. Then one day out of the blue, he asked for a divorce. We all suspected an affair (not physical, but mental). He has now asked for their marriage to be annulled. We believe he wants to remarry a woman he, sneakily, left my sister-in-law for.

  • What can my sister-in-law do to keep this marriage as recognized?

She never wanted a divorce and it would kill her if the Church said their marriage never existed, especially since it was blessed.

Thank you so very much!

D. Isenhour

  { What can my sister-in-law do to keep this marriage recognized by the Church? }

Mary Ann replied:

Hi, D. —

Well, if an annulment were granted, it would be annulled because, at the time of the blessing of the marriage,

  • he was not mentally competent to contract marriage, or
  • not honest about something, or
  • there was some serious impediment to the sacramental bond.

This would be true, unless the original marriage was sacramental, between two baptized people with the full Catholic intention of marriage (children, permanence, and exclusivity) — in which case, that would be the marriage that needs to be examined by the marriage tribunal.

However, it appears that if they got married again in the Church, what they originally had, was a natural marriage, which is a true marriage, but not a sacramental one.

A declaration of nullity does not mean that there was no marriage in the civil sense, nor does it mean that any of the children were illegitimate. It means that no sacramental bond of matrimony was established, which is the only kind of marriage that can exist for Catholics.

Mary Ann

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