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Mary MakingThingsRightAgain
wrote:
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Hi, guys —
I was originally married in the Church. My second, third, and fourth
marriages were civil marriages.
- My second husband is deceased;
- My third husband is alive: we had a civil marriage ending in divorce.
- My fourth husband is deceased.
- Do I need an annulment from the first marriage
to have a serious relationship with someone now?
I would like to be able to get married in the Church again.
I believe I have valid reason for an annulment.
- If I file the appropriate papers myself, how do I
go about it, and
- What diocese would I go through?
- Do I need a special dispensation from the third civil
marriage?
- How long do these processes usually take?
I wanted to do this years ago but was told by a priest that I had children
from my first marriage and couldn't. My fourth husband has now been deceased for
5 years. I am back to practicing my faith and don't want to mess
it up again. I'm getting up there in years, age-wise.
Please help if you can.
Thank you for your time and assistance.
Mary
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Despite my multiple marriages, I want to practice my faith again, so do I need an annulment? }
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Eric replied:
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Dear Mary —
Yes, you need an annulment from your first marriage and third marriage in order to
marry
(and, advisedly, to date) someone else.
To do so, approach your pastor. He can ask you the relevant questions
and help you file the paperwork. You would go through your diocese, which
would either be the diocese in which you live OR, if you are Eastern Rite (you
would know it if you were), the relevant eparchy.
Again, your pastor should know. Annulments take a varying amount of time. We can't give you any guarantees
but something on the order of a year or two each should be expected.
I
do not know why the priest told you years ago that you could not get an
annulment owing to children. The more recent the event, the easier the
annulment process is.
Eric
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Mike replied:
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Hi Mary -
Besides following my colleagues advice, I highly recommend you develop
a strong personal prayer life that includes praying the Rosary and being
in the presence of Our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament for an hour on a regular
basis.
Your desire to return to practicing the faith is to be commended. In the
worst case scenario,
one to two years can seem like a long time to wait,
but it can also be a period of time where the Lord is testing your love
for Him through patience and perseverance.
In my life, I have found praying for these two virtues can totally change
a person's life. It reminds me of a quote I first saw on EWTN by Pope Gregory
XI:
Patience is the root of all virtues.
That said, when we strive to obtain patience in our life, we can
logically deduce that
we suppress all vices in our life. This allows us to grow in holiness and
saintliness.
Hope this helps,
Mike
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