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Nicole wrote:

Hi, guys —

My fiancé and I are planning on getting married. He has been divorced (twice) and has 2 children from his second union. In addition, we just recently had a child ourselves. My question is this:

  • Can we get married in the Catholic Church?
  • Can we baptize our child in the Catholic Church?
  1. The first time, he was married in the Lutheran church;
  2. the second time he was married by a Justice of the Peace.

I am a born and raised Catholic, was baptized and received my First Communion and Confirmation.

I refuse to ask him to get an annulment. I firmly stand by the fact that it is a part of his past and I will not ask him to change his past nor do I feel that is right. God is supposed to love all of us and support all of us, and I certainly love and support my fiancé and who he is.

Those previous marriages helped to shape the individual he has become and I wouldn't change that for the world.

I'm asking for some assistance and guidance in this effort.

Thank you!

Nicole

  { Given my fiancé's marital history, can we marry in the Church and have our children baptized? }

Mike replied:

Hi, Nicole —

Thanks for the question.

First, I applaud you for your desire to get married in the Catholic Church. A sacramental marriage is a powerful bond.

No one is asking you to change your fiancé's past and you are correct: God does love us all, even if we have made mistakes in the past.

If your fiancé is a Catholic, there is good possibility that he should be able to get an annulment so I don't know why you wouldn't want to ask him.

There can be various nuances in each couples marital history but the Church has to ensure it is not blessing bigamy.

You said:

  • Can we get married in the Catholic Church?
  • Can we baptize our child in the Catholic Church?

This would all be contingent on whether any of your or his previous marriages were valid.

I would make an appointment with a priest known for his faithfulness to the Church to discuss these matters. He can get the ball rolling.

If you don't have a daily prayer life, I would encourage it; praying the Holy Rosary daily is a great start!!

Hope this helps,

Mike
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