Hi, Tina —
Thanks for the question.
First I want to applaud you for wanting to make your
marital situation holy with the Church. Over the past few years we have seen a rise in people like
you, who know their marriage is not right, but, if possible, want to make it right with the Church.
I'm sure all of us at AskACatholic wish the process
was easy for everyone, but because there can be various
nuances for each couple, the Church has to ensure
it is not blessing bigamy.
It's my understanding that a baptized Catholic has
to be married in the Catholic Church for a valid
sacramental marriage.
At the first reading of your question, you appear
to be in a hopeful situation. It is good that you are working with the Deacon. I'm sure he will coordinate the issues involved with the
pastor of your Church. You didn't mention
it, but I assume you are Catholic.
If a Catholic marries a non-Catholic, he or she
has to first get a dispensation from the bishop.
The non-Catholic spouse also has to agree to be a witness to the Catholic spouse's promise to raise their children in the
Catholic faith.
For many young couples of different faiths looking toward a future marriage, this can be a contentious issue. This is why it is so important to talk openly and directly about this matter up front, face-to-face. Discuss this being respectful of the other spouse. True love assumes a respect for the other.
My Cliff notes approach:
- Say the family Rosary together if possible
- Follow what the Deacon and pastor have to say
- If you do get your marriage blessed, strive to live
a sacramental life; it is a powerful means to destroy
satan and his legions within family life.
Hope this helps,
Mike
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