Hi, Charles —

Thanks for the questions.

First let's correct some premises. Your girlfriend does not need an annulment to remain in good standing with the Church. She needs an annulment only if she wants to remarry. That is assuming the annulment is granted; it is not automatic. The tribunal must find that there was a pre-existing impediment to the marriage which makes it voidable (for lack of a better term). It has nothing to do with a spouse's loyalty or action during the marriage, unless those actions are related to an impediment which was not disclosed prior to the marriage. For example: If a spouse refuses to have children. That is an impediment to and, most likely was there prior, to the marriage.

Most annulments these days are granted on the basis of one or more spouse not being emotionally mature enough or properly prepared and educated with respect to the nature of the Sacrament of Matrimony but they are often granted for other reasons as well.

The second premise that needs to be corrected is that you need to become a Catholic in order to marry a Catholic. While we certainly will welcome you with open arms into the Church, we want you to come in because you want to become a Catholic and are ready. The Church very routinely allows Catholics to marry non-Catholic Christians. There are some rules and conditions that the Church requires for a mixed marriage, but they are very routine.

That said, it is highly advisable that you become a Catholic if you so choose and are moved by the Holy Spirit. It's always better among married Christian couples when there is agreement on matters of faith, but that agreement has to be genuine, not just something you do in order to marry someone.

It seems like you are open to becoming a Catholic, so I advise you to follow up now.

Start by visiting a Catholic parish for Mass. You should also inquire at that parish if they have an RCIA program. They usually run from September through June, with Catechumens entering the Church at the Easter Vigil. It's a process of discernment. Just because you attend RCIA doesn't mean you are ready to convert; it's a searching stage.

• You go.
• Find out about the Church.
• Become part of the community on a level you are comfortable with.
• Then you make the decision whether to go further or not.

Maybe you could find a program that allows you to sit in on the sessions even though you're not ready to commit. The Church is halfway through for the year anyway, so it's not like you could enter the Church this Easter. Maybe you can go, listen, and if the RCIA director is worth a dime, [he/she] would be happy to have you sit in.

That's where I would start. If you don't know how to find a program, let us know where you live and we'll see what we can do.

I hope this helps,

John D.