Hi, Amanda —

The good news is that you can get a dispensation to marry your boyfriend in a Catholic Church, however, you must agree to bring up your children as Catholics and he must agree not to interfere with that. You must also agree to follow the Church's teachings on human sexuality as it pertains to being open to life while prohibiting artificial contraceptives.

A word to the wise. Although we share many common beliefs with our separated brethren in the Assembly of God (or any Pentecostal church), there are some serious differences that can't be overlooked. Your boyfriend probably doesn't understand what we believe about:

• Salvation
• Mary and the Saints, and
• the Eucharist

and that's just to name three essential matters of faith.

This may lead to problems down the road, especially as you raise the children Catholic. He may be concerned that you are teaching your children to commit idolatry if, or when, you teach them the Rosary. He may want the children to receive communion in his church as well, which they won't be allowed to. These are just a few things that might pop up.

On the other hand, you might freak out if you hear him praying in tongues and in that case, you can rest assured, there is nothing wrong with that.  There are Catholics that practice that gift as well.

You might want to ask him to look into Catholicism, so he realizes that Catholics are indeed Christians (which many Assembly of God members question or don't believe). He should understand what you believe (what the Church really teaches) and he ought to be comfortable with the kids being brought up as believing Catholics.

If he can't deal with this, it will present a problem in the marriage.

If he is interested, encourage him to consider buying a cheap copy of the Catechism of the Catholic Church to learn everything we believe as faithful Catholics.

God Bless and Good Luck,

John DiMascio

Amanda —

You may want to attend a Life in the Spirit Seminar.

• What diocese are you in?

Maybe we can help you find a Charismatic prayer group or put you in touch with their Charismatic Renewal Office. This would be a good way for you learn about the gifts which your fiancé probably experiences and it would be a way of introducing him to the Catholic Church.

Pentecostals and Charismatics are really focused on the Holy Spirit as well as the gifts Christ gives us through the Spirit so at a typical service, after the preaching, they will have people come up to be prayed for a variety of things. There is a lot of prayer for physical healing. There is also prophecy and, as I mentioned before, praying in Tongues. You and your fiancé will find these things at Catholic Charismatic prayer groups as well.

Ideally, it would be best for him to convert, but, of course, this is the Holy Spirit's job, not ours. Nevertheless, you can make him feel more comfortable in the Catholic Church by showing him that we share many of the same beliefs and gifts.

Speaking as someone who prays in tongues quite often, I can tell you that it seems to help me internalize, that which I learn with my mind, so head knowledge becomes heart knowledge.
Now how it works, I don't know. I can only tell you my experience. Praying in tongues also prepares me to study the Scriptures and makes me more sensitive to hearing the Lord's voice.

That's just a small recap of what the gift does.

Hope that helps,

John