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I am a 28-year-old male living the United
States. My father is Jewish and my mother
is Muslim so, as you might imagine, my religious
views are mixed. After dating for over seven
years, I recently proposed to my girlfriend.
We are engaged and very much in love. She
was raised Catholic, but she is not particularly
devout. Her parents, however, are devout Catholics
and I greatly respect their beliefs.
They
would like us to get married in the Catholic
Church, but my parents, who are paying for
the wedding, would like an outdoor wedding.
I want to honor her parents and my fiancée's beliefs,
and I am desperately seeking some sort of
compromise. Unfortunately, we are not having
any luck finding one. I have two main questions:
Would the Church validate a marriage between
a Catholic and a Non-Christian?
Secondly, would a priest officiate an
outdoor wedding outside of the Church setting?
Respectfully,
Joel
{
Would
the Church bless a (Catholic|Non-Christian) marriage and can a priest officiate
outdoors? }
Mike
replied:
Hi, Joel —
Thanks for the question.
Let me answer your question, then
give you some suggestions and advice.
You said:
Would the Church
validate a marriage between a Catholic
and a Non-Christian?
Any baptized Catholic who wishes
to enter into a valid sacramental
marriage has to marry according to
a Catholic form.
What does this mean?
This means they have to be married
in the Church.
If their spouse, you, is a non-Catholic,
the Catholic spouse needs to get
a dispensation from their local
bishop, and
the non-Catholic spouse has
to promise to not interfere with the
Catholic spouse raising
the children of their marriage
Catholic.
It's important to note: the Catholic is making the promise; the non-Catholic spouse is only witnessing the promise being made.
both parties also have
to enter the marriage with
the proper understanding of the marriage consent and the purpose of marriage.
See
the quotes from the
Catechism under Matrimonial
Consentbelow.
You said:
Secondly, would
a priest officiate an outdoor wedding
outside of the Church setting?
No, not to my knowledge due to the
first bullet in my list of bullets
above. They have to be married in the Church with any exceptions given by the local bishop.
You didn't say how your Jewish father
and Muslim mother feel about being
married in the Church.
Assuming they would not want this,
but you wouldn't mind, it really
comes down to having a friendly conversation
with them about this. Family cohesion
is important but can be tough at
times. Nevertheless, they have to
respect your free will to do what
you and your fiancée thinks
is best for your future marriage and your future
life together.
If you are seeking a truly life-long
commitment with your fiancée in
marriage, the grace from the sacramental
life of the Church is an extremely
helpful source, especially during
the future tough times both of you
will have together.
Living a sacramental life will help
both of you to:
stay committed
help each other in difficult times, and
when one falls, help each other to forgive each other and
get back together again.
The underlying assumption is that
the Catholic spouse practices her
faith and follows the teachings of
the Church including those against
artificial contraception. The Church
does promote natural contraception — also
known as Natural Family Planning (NFP).
It is sad that your spouse doesn't
appreciate her faith as much as her
parents do. In order to give you
some insight in what her parents
cherish so much about their faith consider buying a cheap copy of theCatechism of the Catholic Church.
1633 In many countries the situation
of a mixed marriage, (marriage
between a Catholic and a baptized
non-Catholic), often arises. It
requires particular attention
on the part of couples and their
pastors. A case of marriage with
disparity of cult (between a Catholic
and a non-baptized person) requires
even greater circumspection.
1634 Difference of confession
between the spouses does not constitute
an insurmountable obstacle for
marriage, when they succeed in
placing in common what they have
received from their respective
communities, and learn from each
other the way in which each lives
in fidelity to Christ. But the
difficulties of mixed marriages
must not be underestimated. They
arise from the fact that the separation
of Christians has not yet been
overcome. The spouses risk experiencing
the tragedy of Christian disunity
even in the heart of their own
home. Disparity of cult can further
aggravate these difficulties.
Differences about faith and the
very notion of marriage, but also
different religious mentalities,
can become sources of tension
in marriage, especially as regards
the education of children. The
temptation to religious indifference
can then arise.
1635 According to the law in force
in the Latin Church, a mixed marriage
needs for liceity the express
permission of ecclesiastical authority. (cf. Code of Canon Law, Canon 1124) In case of disparity of cult an
express dispensation from this
impediment is required for the
validity of the marriage. (cf. Code of Canon Law, Canon 1086) This
permission or dispensation presupposes
that both parties know and do
not exclude the essential ends
and properties of marriage; and
furthermore that the Catholic
party confirms the obligations,
which have been made known to
the non-Catholic party,
of preserving his or her own faith
and ensuring the baptism and education
of the children in the Catholic
Church. (cf. Code of Canon Law, Canon 1125)
1636 Through ecumenical dialogue Christian communities in many regions have been able to put into effect a common pastoral practice for mixed marriages. Its task is to help such couples live out their particular situation in the light of faith, overcome the tensions between the couple's obligations to each other and towards their ecclesial communities, and encourage the flowering of what is common to them in faith and respect for what separates them.
1637 In marriages with disparity of cult the Catholic spouse has a particular task:
"For the unbelieving husband is consecrated through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is consecrated through her husband."
It is a great joy for the Christian spouse and for the Church if this "consecration" should lead to the free conversion of the other spouse to the Christian faith. (cf. 1 Corinthians 7:16) Sincere married love, the humble and patient practice of the family virtues, and perseverance in prayer can prepare the non-believing spouse to accept the grace of conversion.
1625 The parties to a marriage covenant are a baptized man and woman, free to contract marriage, who freely express their consent; to be free means:
not being under constraint;
not impeded by any natural or ecclesiastical law.
1626 The Church holds the exchange of consent between the spouses to be the indispensable element that makes the marriage. (Code of Canon Law, canon 1057 § 1) If consent is lacking there is no marriage.
1627 The consent consists in a human act by which the partners mutually give themselves to each other: I take you to be my wife — I take you to be my husband. (Vatican II, Gaudium et spes 48 § 1; Ordo celebrandi Matrimonium 45; cf. Code of Canon Law, canon 1057 § 2) This consent that binds the spouses to each other finds its fulfillment in the two becoming one flesh. (Genesis 2:24; cf. Matthew 10:8; Ephesians 5:31)
1628 The consent must be an act of the will of each of the contracting parties, free of coercion or grave external fear. (cf. Code of Canon Law, canon 1103) No human power can substitute for this consent. (cf. Code of Canon Law, canon 1057 § 1) If this freedom is lacking the marriage is invalid.
1629 For this reason (or for other reasons that render the marriage null and void) the Church, after an examination of the situation by the competent ecclesiastical tribunal, can declare the nullity of a marriage, i.e., that the marriage never existed. (cf. Code of Canon Law, canons 1095-1107) In this case the contracting parties are free to marry, provided the natural obligations of a previous union are discharged. (cf. Code of Canon Law, canon 1071)
1630 The priest (or deacon) who assists at the celebration of a marriage receives the consent of the spouses in the name of the Church and gives the blessing of the Church. The presence of the Church's minister (and also of the witnesses) visibly expresses the fact that marriage is an ecclesial reality.
1631 This is the reason why the Church normally requires that the faithful contract marriage according to the ecclesiastical form. Several reasons converge to explain this requirement: (cf. Council of Trent: DS 1813-1816; Code of Canon Law, canon 1108)
Sacramental marriage is a liturgical act. It is therefore appropriate that it should be celebrated in the public liturgy of the Church;
Marriage introduces one into an ecclesial order, and creates rights and duties in the Church between the spouses and towards their children;
Since marriage is a state of life in the Church, certainty about it is necessary (hence the obligation to have witnesses);
The public character of the consent protects the I do once given and helps the spouses remain faithful to it.
1632 So that the I do of the spouses may be a free and responsible act and so that the marriage covenant may have solid and lasting human and Christian foundations, preparation for marriage is of prime importance.
The example and teaching given by parents and families remain the special form of this preparation.
The role of pastors and of the Christian community as the family of God is indispensable for the transmission of the human and Christian values of marriage and family, (cf. Code of Canon Law, canon 1063) and much more so in our era when many young people experience broken homes which no longer sufficiently assure this initiation:
It is imperative to give suitable and timely instruction to young people, above all in the heart of their own families, about the dignity of married love, its role and its exercise, so that, having learned the value of chastity, they will be able at a suitable age to engage in honorable courtship and enter upon a marriage of their own. (Vatican II, Gaudium et spes 49 § 3)
I hope this helps,
Mike
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