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Anonymous
wrote:
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Hi, guys —
My husband and I have been married for three
years now. When we were dating, we failed
to remain abstinent, though it was our intention
to; we struggled with it throughout our engagement.
It is something I have confessed in Confession
but guilt still plagues me.
I know that while
we never directly told anyone, we led our
family and friends to believe that we remained
abstinent until we got married. I feel like
we indirectly lied to our loved ones.
- Is it necessary to confess this to our
family?
I hesitate because I do not want to expose
my husband's sin in this and I do not want
to be digging up the past since
God has forgiven me for.
Anonymous
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Is
it necessary to tell our family about our failure to abstain though I have already confessed this? }
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John
replied:
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Dear Friend,
One of things we need to learn is
that when we have been forgiven,
that's it!; we've been forgiven. Yes, some healing of the soul must
take place and that's why we have
penances and even Purgatory but forgiveness
is final. God throws our sin in to
a sea of forgetfulness. Nevertheless,
when we remember these sins, we allow
satan to accuse us of sins that have already been forgiven.
If you've brought it to Confession, hold your head up. You are forgiven!
Your husband may need to do the same
for his own sake.
John
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Mary
Ann replied:
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Dear Anonymous,
According to Catholic teaching, you
have a right to your reputation and
a duty to not give scandal. Therefore,
you ought not to confess to
your family.
As for your persistent guilt, it
may be more because of a sense of
shame or disappointment in yourself
rather than any sorrow toward God (because you know you are now right
with God.)
Every time you recall these shortcomings,
strive to remember the importance
of relying on Christ, your Savior.
Relying on ourselves and our own
virtue is Pharisaic and doomed to
failure. Remembering our sins helps
us to trust the Lord and lean on
Him!
Mary Ann
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