Lucy
wrote:
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Hi, guys —
- Can two Catholics have a wedding without
a Mass?
The reason I ask is because (my other half)
and I are getting married and would like to
get married this way. I know it can be done if one of the persons
isn't Catholic but:
- Is it a problem if both
are Catholic?
- According to canon law it's valid, with or without
Mass, so why am I getting the
guilt trip?
- I've been told I will regret not receiving
Communion but isn't that for my future
husband and I to decide?
For crying out loud, we're adults. My godmother
says I'm rejecting God by not receiving Communion
and my dad says he doesn't care if my marriage
is valid, or not. He said, "if I'm not going
to do things the right way don't
bother getting married in the Church because
it wouldn't look right."
Actually, he would prefer that we just have
a civil ceremony than marriage without a Mass.
It seems to me, he's taking this issue to
the extreme especially since he and my mom
have been married for ages but never by the
Church.
- What is the right answer?
- Can a priest actually say "No Mass,
No Wedding"?
Please explain.
Lucy
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{
Can two Catholics get married (and have a wedding) without having a Mass? }
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Mary
Ann replied:
Lucy —
The marriage ceremony is often conducted
outside of Mass. The Nuptial Mass is nice but not necessary to the
sacrament.
The reception of the Eucharist is
the enactment of the union with the
Body of Christ that the couple will
also enact with each other, as images
of Christ.
The priest cannot say, "No Mass,
no wedding" — though
that can be his personal preference
or practice.
To repeat, you
can get married in Church
without a nuptial Mass, and many
priests will thank you for it, because
the service is short and less taxing
on their schedule.
Mary Ann
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Mike
replied:
Hi, Lucy —
I just wanted to add to what my colleague
Mary Ann has said. Even though you
could get married without a Mass,
I wouldn't recommend it.
Because marriage is a life long
commitment, you want to get all the
sacramental graces you and your fiancé can
get for future bumps down the
road, especially at the beginning of your married life. As Catholics, we believe
the Eucharist is the source and summit
of our faith, so if both of you wish
to get all the sacramental helps
you can get for future bumps down the
road, this would be
the way to go.
By my suggestion, I don't mean to
take away, in any manner, from the
successful marriage your parents
have had. They have truly been living
Christ-like lives between them.
I'm just saying that, in this morally
deprived culture, you should get
all the sacramental graces and helps
you can get.
It's one
day in you, and your fiancé's,
future life; get everything you can,
so your marriage will last at least
as long as your parents, if not,
longer.
My brother and his wife had a Nuptial Mass, partially done in Latin, and
they have been married for over 20
years . . . so far :
)
Just my opinion.
Mike
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