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Dear Freddie,
My colleagues may also wish to chime in but here's my two cents.
It would not be right to live with that person whether, or not, the Church has determined that the divorced spouse is in a valid marriage. You would either be in an adulterous situation, if they didn't receive an annulment, or one where you are tempted into situations leading to
pre-marital sex, if they were free to marry.
Both the Church and the state recognize a state divorce, but that only deals with the separation of properties and the care of the children. An annulment, or a lack of one, is what determines whether the divorced spouse is still in a valid marriage or whether (he/she) is free to marry.
There would be no problem with (him/her) being a lector and ministry coordinator, whether or not the divorced spouse receives an annulment. It would only be a problem if you started living with (him/her). Then they should not be allowed to participate in these ministries as it would give scandal to the Church and fellow parishioners.
If the person receives an annulment from the Church, you would be welcome to date, and in the future marry this person, as you would any other single Catholic.
If not, get back to us.
Mike
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