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MakingAMockey Mary
wrote:
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Hi, guys —
My ex-husband was married in the Church at 19 and had his first marriage annulled due to Lack of Due Discretion.
Our marriage was convalidated in the Church after he received his first annulment. Now, he seeks to have his second marriage (to me) in the Church annulled in order to convalidate a third civil marriage (born of an affair) in the Church.
In his petition, he has blatantly lied to the Tribunal. I want the annulment and will respond with:
- evidence of his false statements
- a witness to the affair in his first marriage, and
- letters to me acknowledging the affair with his now third wife.
Adultery has been a lifelong issue for him. It's a mess, I'm a fool, and he's pathological.
I feel confident the Tribunal will grant the annulment.
My question is:
- What will the Church do, if anything, about someone who seeks to receive a second annulment and third marriage in the Church?
He has used the same Catholic Church with different priests over a span of 30+ years and, in my eyes, makes a mockery of them and our Holy Church Sacraments.
Thank you and God Bless,
Mary
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{
What does the Church do when my ex— uses marriage tribunals to make a mockery of the Church? }
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Mary Ann replied:
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Dear Mary,
The Church is not supposed to marry people until they have ascertained that the deficiency no longer exists. It appears that he does not acknowledge the Catholic teaching on fidelity and permanence in marriage, so the question would be if he intends to abide by these teachings when he does marry.
- If false statements were used to obtain the annulment, it can be appealed.
- If false statements or deception were used in the marriage to you, your marriage to him could be invalid.
Mary Ann
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Fr. Jonathan replied:
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Dear Mary,
I cannot comment on your individual case especially because I only have her side of things
but I think I can answer your question.
Tribunals are looking for truth and not fault. However, sometimes Tribunals do find someone who is completely at fault, or who seems unable to enter into future Marriage without serious changes.
In those cases, the Tribunals may give an Affirmative decision (i.e. declare it null) but they would put a restriction on future marriage. This would be communicated to the party at fault in a letter and it would be placed in their Baptism record so, that future priests asked to celebrate a new marriage, would find it. There are two types of restrictions:
- The first is called a Monitum which is less of a restriction and more of a warning.
- The second is called a Vetitum and this prevents a priest from celebrating a future marriage unless the Vetitum is lifted.
Examples:
- If the problem was alcoholism and the Tribunal thought that the person was now sober, they might give a Monitum which warns the priest of past problems with alcoholism.
- If the Tribunal thought that the person was still a bad alcoholic they would give a Vetitum stating that the person could not be married in the Church without clear evidence that they had conquered their alcoholism.
Other Vetitums could demand counseling or they could demand that the new spouse learn about the past indiscretion.
Fr. Jonathan
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Mary replied:
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Hi, guys —
Thank you so very much.
This answer was exactly what I was looking for and I pray my ex— will get the help he needs through this annulment process.
With a heavy heart, my package went to the (Town/City blocked out) diocese tribunal today.
As a woman who went to parochial, grammar and High School in the 60s and 70s, I realize that our Holy Church did the best they could but there are generations of us who were poorly catechized.
At the bottom of my submission, I noted 2 Timothy 2:22-26 and my fervent prayer is that the Tribunal will be able to help my ex— with the counseling he needs which will lead him to a true transformation.
Please thank Fr. Jonathan for me from the bottom of my heart. His wisdom, by the grace of God, may assist our Tribunal in helping my ex-husband.
God Bless!
Gratefully,
Mary
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