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We go to church and it is said that the Lord forgives us for our sins. That said, I have sinned.
I had a relationship with a married man before he was separated but in the Bible it says that the man has destroyed his own soul.
What does that mean?
Does God forgive him or me?
We are still together and he is now divorced. Sometimes it's hard to live knowing what I have done. We live in a small town and it's hard not to feel that people are always judging me.
I turn to God every day.
Eileen
{
Will the Lord forgive me if I've had a relationship with a married man before he was separated? }
Mike replied:
Dear Eileen,
Adultery is a serious sin and jeopardizing the married life of any couple is serious, nevertheless, we are not priests.
I would recommend you make an appointment with a faithful Catholic priest who is local to where you live for spiritual guidance.
God forgives our sins, but we have to be truly repentant.
Don't worry about what others think; both of you should receive spiritual guidance from a priest who is faithful to the Church.
Mike
Eileen replied:
Mike,
I will be making this appointment soon.
What should I expect from my Catholic priest?
We go to church every Sunday. We ask for forgiveness when we pray.
What is it that my priest will ask from us?
How do we become truly repentant for our sins?
Eileen
Mike replied:
Dear Eileen,
Look at the priest as your friend and helper. One thing we cannot do in prayer is receive the grace of the sacraments. You should ask him to hear your Confession.
If you don't know how to do this, ask for his help. Receiving the sacrament of Confession will help you not to commit similar sins in the future. You should mention all major and minor sins to the best of your knowledge and, afterward, always remember to make your Sunday obligation, while developing some type of daily prayer life, like praying the Rosary.
If one is truly repentant, one promises not to commit the sin again.
I hope this helps,
Mike
Eric replied:
Eileen —
To be repentant of your sins, you must have a change of mind and reverse your steps, so to speak. That is, you have to recognize and acknowledge to God that what you've done is wrong, and go in the opposite direction.
Essential for this, is resolving not to do the sin again in the future, although you also have to recognize that you are weak and are subject to fail again — the key being, you will strive not to do it. In colloquial language, you turn over a new leaf. This is sometimes called making a firm purpose for amendment.
Sorrow for what you've done is an important component, but sorrow for being caught or discovered is insufficient. At the very least, you should be sorry in light of the eternal consequences, but ultimately you want to feel sorrow because you love God and want to do His Will. We call this sorrow out of love for God perfect contrition while sorrow for sin is called contrition; and a prayer expressing sorrow for sin and repentance is called an Act of Contrition, or, if you prefer, feel sorry because you have offended God, although I prefer to look at it in terms of loving God.
Act of Contrition
O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee.
I detest all my sins, because I dread the loss of Heaven, and the pains of Hell; but most of all because I have offened Thee, my God, Who are all good and deserving of all my love.
I firmly resolve, with the help of Thy grace, to confess my sins, to do penance, and to amend my life.
Amen.
If you did something really rotten to your spouse or your best friend, you'd feel bad because of your love for them; the same should be true with God. If your love for God is not strong, strengthen and cultivate it.
God's grace is an essential component of this. We can do nothing without God's grace. Ask for it. Ask for his strength to live out the Gospel and do His Will.
Re-orient your life in this way; decide to live out the Gospel from now on and do Christ's will. Turn your whole life and everything you do, from now on, over to Christ, and He will transform you into His image, bring you joy and peace, and lead you to salvation.
Eric
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