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Stacy Fuhrman wrote:

Hi, guys —

My husband, who was raised Catholic, and I, who was raised Baptist, were married in a Methodist church (because of its location) in 1993 and we received communion at our wedding.

My husband was not actively practicing the faith at the time of our wedding and still does not attend Mass on any regular basis. His mother has wanted us to "get married" since we were wed.

For our 10th anniversary we tried to get our marriage blessed but the woman, we were told to meet with, refused to do so, because I was not willing to give up my faith. I actively attend my church and since my husband does not, I do not understand why I would need to join the Catholic church since:

  • I would be attending alone in an unfamiliar setting, and
  • I currently attend my church with my 15 year old son, along with my family and friends.

I do have similar beliefs on birth control etc. as the Catholic Church.

  • Why does our marriage have to be recognized by the Church?
  • What are the repercussions for my husband, if we do not go through this step? and,
  • What are my obligations if we do?


  { In order to get our marriage blessed by the Church, why do I have to become Catholic? }

Mary Ann replied:


The woman you met with must have misunderstood something terribly. In order to get your marriage "blessed" (convalidated), you, the non-Catholic spouse, do not have to become a Catholic.

You simply take a preparation class so that you understand Matrimony, and then renew your vows before a priest or deacon. It can be a simple private affair, or a big wedding, whatever you like.

Your husband should be catechized and receive Confirmation, if he has not, and he should go to Confession for all the past years of not practicing his faith, attending Mass, etc. If he does not believe in the Catholic faith anymore at all, he can talk to the priest about what to do.

Mary Ann

Fr. Jonathan replied:

Hi Stacy,

If the Catholic party is doing this for themselves then Mary Ann's answer is fine.

If the only reason this couple is doing this is for the Catholic party's mother and he has no intention of being a faithful Catholic then we are not interested in marrying them.

In the meantime, the Catholic party should know that he cannot received Holy Communion and cannot stand as a sponsor for Baptism.

Fr. Jonathan

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