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Marsha
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Hi, guys —
I was born a Catholic but only have been practicing for about a year. I have two wonderful friends that helped this happen.
This is my problem. I have been working with a man that I consider my best friend. He is married, but she is very verbally abusive. We have grown very close over the past year. I know that I was falling in love with him and know that he is committed to his vows, though she isn't.
It was when I desired to try to move on and went out on a date with someone new that he came to me and stated that he was deeply in love with me. His wife is disabled and he is so afraid that if he brakes his vows that he will go to Hell. He feels a duty to take care of her even though she treats him like a belonging.
Both have told me that they would have been divorced if the disability had not happened. He feels we cannot be together until she dies or she leaves him. He has asked me to be here for him and hope for our future together. I have asked him about a annulment and he said he could not leave her with no one to take care of her. I have never been so in love before, but I cannot understand how he hates to be around her, but cannot leave her. All because of his faith in the God. I love his commitment to God, but it hurts to see him treated this way. She uses it against him.
- Is his faith misleading him?
Marsha
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Am I in the wrong or is his faith misleading him? }
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Eric replied:
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Marsha —
This is a delicate pastoral situation we're not really qualified to answer.
I recommend that he find a spiritual director or priest and lay everything out on the table. It is true that if he is really married, the marriage to his wife remains valid for life.
That doesn't mean he can't separate from her at all and then evaluate, as you suggested, whether the marriage was ever valid in the first place, but he needs a priest to guide him.
Eric
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