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Marilyn Mackey
wrote:
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Hi, guys —
My husband was married over 50 years ago to another woman. They were married in a Catholic Church and divorced a few years later. The marriage was never annulled. My husband married me in 1983. With our 30th anniversary coming up, we would like to renew our vows or at least have our marriage blessed in the Catholic Church. I am not Catholic and we were married by a Methodist minister.
- Does he still have to get his first marriage annulled if we just wish to:
- renew our vows or
- have our marriage blessed?
I ask because my husband was denied seeing his only son and was just reunited with him three years ago after almost 50 years. Their relationship is great and we don't want to spoil that but we all know their would be a big problem if his ex-wife has to be contacted about an annulment. We don't want to risk that.
- Do you have any suggestions as to what we can do to celebrate our 30th anniversary with some sort of ceremony in the Catholic Church?
Thank you.
Marilyn
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How can we celebrate our 30th anniversary in the Church, if we weren't married in the Church? }
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Paul replied:
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Dear Marilyn,
Your description indicates that your marriage is invalid and could not be blessed by the Church without an annulment. Perhaps there could be a way to more discretely seek an annulment without your civil husband's presumed wife being aware of the proceedings so that his relationship with his son would not be disturbed.
Any possibility of this happening would have to be decided by your diocesan tribunal. Please see your civil husband's pastor or the pastor of the Catholic church closest to you, to explain your situation and get the ball rolling.
My colleagues may have more information or some different advice, so please stay tuned.
Peace,
Paul
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Fr. Jonathan replied:
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Sorry, but the former wife would have to have the opportunity to be fully involved.
This doesn't sound right to me though. The son is obviously old enough to make up his own mind as to whether or not he wants to have a relationship with his father.
Talk to the son first and tell him that your husband wants to be reconciled with the Catholic Church so that he can receive the Sacraments again and so you both could have the wedding validated. Explain that this has the potential of upsetting his mother. See if he can warn her that it is coming and smooth the way.
The bottom line —
- Yes, you would need a declaration of nullity and
- Yes, it would involve the ex-wife.
Fr. Jonathan
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