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Dear Anonymous,
We are not priests, but I can share with you my personal opinion. Based upon what you have said, I would recommend:
- your wife go to Confession and mention this to the Confessor and
- find a spiritual director for her that can guide her through spiritual matters.
It's very important she understands that when we leave the Confessional, if we have laid out all our faults, there is nothing we should be haunted about. Our sins have been forgiven.
We, lay people and priests, carry out the Lord's vocation in weak body's of the flesh.
He get's that; He understands it. He doesn't condone inappropriate actions committed by temptation, but understands the struggle. Remember, He was a man like us in all things but sin.
This is why He left us with the Sacrament of Confession.
The only sin that Our Lord won't forgive is when we say,
Our sins are greater than His Forgiveness, thus we don't trust His Forgiveness in the Sacrament of Confession.
This lack of trust comes straight from Hell and the demonic.
Based on what you have said, it's clear your wife is being drawn to do the right thing. I would be more concerned about the ordained minister, especially in lieu of the recent problems in the Church.
I've sent this to a priest-helper and a former Protestant minister who reverted back to the faith.
If they have more to say I'll forward you their replies.
I hope this helps,
Mike
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