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Katherine wrote:

Hi, guys —

My husband was raised Catholic, and I was raised Methodist. When we wed we did not marry in the Catholic Church. At that time, my mother-in-law was pushing us to do so, but I left it to my husband to decide what was important to him. At that time, he didn't feel it was a high importance. Looking back, I think he was trying to show his mom he was a man and could make his own decisions.

Since then, my husband has come to feel very incomplete in life and I feel a big part of this is his living a life of sin and not being able to partake in Holy Communion. We attend Mass but not regularly because I think he is ashamed of himself.

I would like to look into having our wedding blessed but I'm not sure what steps I can take to work towards this. I am willing to convert to the Church as there are only a few beliefs I differ with Her on, but first feel a need to come to terms with those beliefs before making such a decision.

On most subjects I feel and believe the same as the Church. Most importantly I accept and believe 100% that Jesus is the Son of God.

I have taken Him into my life and believe whole heartily that He is my Lord and Savior.

The most important for me is for my husband to know and believe he is living his life by the morals and values he was raised with and knows to be good. I don't want my husband to continue feeling he is not following in God's footsteps.

  • If, at this time, I don't wish to become a Catholic, what can I do to have our marriage blessed?

Katherine
  { If at this time, I don't wish to become a Catholic, what can I do to have our marriage blessed? }

Mike replied:

Hi Katherine,

Thanks for the question.

My answer assumes that your husband also wants to have your marriage blessed [what we call convalidated] by the Church.

All you would have to do is visit your local Catholic parish and express this desire and the pastor or priest should be able to guide you appropriately.

My colleague Fr. Jonathan may have a few other comments.

You wouldn't have to become Catholic to have your marriage blessed but you would have to agree to be a witness to any children from your marriage being raised Catholic. In a mixed marriage, it's the Catholic making the promise; the non-Catholic Christian is just the witness to the fulfillment of the promise.

You said:
... there are only a few beliefs I differ with Her on, but first feel a need to come to terms with those beliefs before making such a decision.

On most subjects I feel and believe the same as the Church. Most importantly I accept and believe 100% that Jesus is the Son of God.

If you wish to go deeper, consider buying a cheap copy of the Catechism of the Catholic Church to learn everything we believe as Catholics.

I hope this helps,

Mike

Fr. Jonathan replied:

Dear Katherine —

Two things:

  1. If either of you had been previously married that would require additional steps.
  2. The wording Mike used that she has to witness to the fulfillment of the promise to baptize and raise the children as Catholic is slightly off.
    It would be better to say he would have to make two promises:
    1. To remain a Catholic
    2. To do all in his power to Baptize and raise the children as Catholic.
      She makes no promises but is fully aware of his promise.

Fulfill has the implication of an action completed. Keeping it as witness only is more accurate.
Even if that is not what you meant, it can too easily be interpreted incorrectly.

Fr. Jonathan

Katherine replied:

Thank you for your prompt response.

It is very important to my husband as well. I know he would feel more complete in his faith if we had our marriage blessed.

I will reach out to our priest and start the process.

I will also check out the link you sent me. I am always trying to learn more about the Catholic religion. While I wasn't raised Catholic, I find it a beautiful faith and if I could get past the few differences, I feel I would be very happy.

Kathy

Eric replied:

Katherine —

All you need to do is go to your local priest and tell him you want your marriage convalidated
(or blessed). You'll have a very small exchange of vows with a couple of witnesses and that's it, assuming neither of you were married beforehand to spouses that are still alive.

In that situation, whoever was married before will need to obtain an annulment. There is no obligation for you to convert to Catholicism; you'd just need to get a dispensation from the bishop, which is routine.

Eric

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