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Anonymous L. wrote:

Hi, guys—

  • Can a man be guilty of adultery in his heart if he keeps a woman as a long-term priority ahead of his wife and deprives his wife of kept promises truth and dignity in his service to another woman:
    • If he finds himself concerned for the happiness of a woman at direct expense to his wife?
    • If he is a angered whenever his wife is an obstacle that disrupts his concern for another woman?
    • If another woman is truly a higher priority over a long period of time than his wife?

  • If his concern and priority for another woman omits imagining carnal desires and acts, has he escaped the sin of adultery in his heart?


  { Can a husband be guilty of adultery in his heart (in these situations) when keeping another woman? }

Paul replied:

Dear L. —

Adultery in one's heart seems to include having lust for a woman. However, placing concern for another woman ahead of one's own wife, in spirit, certainly seems to violate the marriage vows.  One's own spouse's good and ultimately their salvation must be a top priority for married people.

I think it's safe to say they will be judged on this. One must not let other women usurp this promise of love and fidelity to one's spouse, which after love of God, should be top priority.



Bob replied:

Dear Friend,

Thanks for the question.  Adultery is generally related to sexual acts, but in this case, there is still a betrayal of his vows, and is like a spiritual form of adultery.  The sin of treating another as though she were the true wife would still be grave, and in a way is worse than a sexual betrayal; it is a betrayal of love.


Bob Kirby

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