|
|
 |
Anonymous Issa wrote: |
|
Hi, guys —
My parents told me when I was young that men should either get married and have kids or become priests.
Currently, I'm a 37-year-old man who works in Kuwait (I'm originally from Jordan, in the Middle East) and until now, I'm not married. I also haven't had a relationship with women as we believe that it should go through the parents first; it's one of our long standing customs.
- Will it be a sin to live a single life (no marriage, no women) and, at the same time, not become a priest?
- And, Will God judge me in a negative way if I died this way?
A little Middle East cultural background may help: Christians usually get married through arranged marriages. Getting to know a girl, based on the western lifestyle, is not favorable as it would make negative consequences on her reputation and bring about problems between her and her family, so I prefer to start knowing a girl, by asking her parent's permission, before initiating relationships.
Issa
|
| { Will it be a sin to be single and, at the same time, not become a priest; will God judge me negatively? } |
Eric replied:
|
Dear Issa —
I would say that it depends on your motives and intent.
If your attitude is that you reject making a commitment to marriage for selfish reasons, like:
- wanting to spend money on yourself and
- avoid having children or making the sacrifices that come with marriage and family life,
that could reflect negatively on you on the Day of Judgment. I am not sure you'd be condemned for that, but it might require some purification in Purgatory.
If, on the other hand, you have good and just reasons for not pursuing:
- marriage
- a vocation to the priesthood, or
- the religious life
it probably wouldn't reflect negatively on you. You have to examine yourself and your motives.
Eric
|
Mike replied:
|
Dear Issa,
There was one important word that was missing from my colleague's answer: vocation!
We were all created for a specific purpose in life and have a unique vocation or calling.
As I have told my niece and nephews, a vocation is something that requires prayer and thinking about two things:
- What you can do, and
- What you enjoy doing (or like doing)
These two questions obviously fall within the values of a Christian Community: a vocation or calling involving service.
- If you don't feel called to the priesthood, you shouldn't try to become a priest.
- If you don't feel called to the married life, you can end up in a marriage, where anger, bitter emotions and ultimately divorce prevail. (Especially if you are just trying to conform with the brother's and sister's who have gone ahead of you in marriage.)
Although what your parents say can appear to make sense, one shouldn't follow a calling or vocation unless they feel led by the Holy Spirit and indeed many, if not most people, are called to the married life and many are called to the priesthood as well.
There is nothing wrong with being Single as long has you follow a calling or vocation that serves the Catholic Christian Community.
God-willing, you will have a treasure of good works to show him at your Particular Judgment so work on your vocation and good works instead of being afraid of God's wrath.
Mike
|
|
|
|
