Dear Friend,

I’m sorry to hear of the passing of your beloved husband.  It is never easy to lose a loved one, especially a spouse and partner in life.  The gift of our sexuality is deeply connected to our intimacy with our spouse, and for that end it bonds us and opens us up to life, bringing the gift of children into the world.  

When we appropriate this gift in another context, like fantasy, masturbation, fornication, adultery, or any other thing you can think of, sin arises.  The reason is that God made this gift for a specific context and then He set some boundaries around it to protect it and keep it sacred.  By taking it out of that sacred space we profane it, and basically don’t trust God in his wisdom and design.

It is readily apparent that there are natural consequences attached to the sins of the more egregious type in the list above, but not so much in the quieter lesser sins.  We have to trust God that He set the boundaries for a good reason and even if we don't see the connection to “wrong” at first glance, we must obey and respect the boundary.  That is why Jesus said only those whose accept the kingdom of God like a child are fit to enter.  Sometimes it takes childlike humility to trust.

So, the answer is, yes, it is a sin, even though it may not be obvious.  

Just know that God has a plan to keep you happy and satisfied in His love since this last chapter has closed and now has turned to the next.  Use the moment to dive in to knowing God better, pray in those moments when your body misses your husband, and you will find a new peace.

I'll pray for you too.

Peace,